About Me

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Santa Cruz, CA
living, and loving people. in the midst of my humanity.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Zach's Prayer answered

He was found about 2 hours North East of us. How he got there, who was with him, and where he will go next. Is all unknown.

This I know...I can stop waking up having what I call nightmares...some might call them spiritual battles. Last night was my first night of sleep where I didn't wake up. terrified, and would have to pray deeply for him, and his mother.

Point is he is safe.
But not out of trouble. There is much more spiritual battles to be fought for his heart.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

a blog from one of my seniors.

through pain and struggle...this blog is amazing. My favorate part is the last two paragraphs.
this student surpasses me in her ability to write, express life with words, and english in general.

I am Proud of her.

Picasso had nothing on God.

November 26, 2007, 10:26 pm Filed under: God

Nor did Shakespeare, Matisse, or Boyle, Einstein, or Mozart, Da Vinci, or Andy Warhol.
Plato, Aristotle, and Augustine have nothing on God.
Nor did Napoleon, Elizabeth the 1st, or Franklin D. Roosevelt.

What I’m trying to say is: God is bigger, greater, more important, more intelligent, & more capable than any of artist, musician, philosopher, ruler, scientist, or author known to man. God is stronger than any Iron Man, God is more majestic than any Taj Mahal or Crystal Palace, God is better, stronger, faster, harder than any Kanye West or Alicia Keys (and more in tune). God…. is…. God.

So why do we insist on God being Human.Can’t we see that we are broken, flawed, fragile, uncreative, distractive, ignorant, and inconsiderate people?
Why do we want a God who follows that?
Because we can tame that god.
Because we can define that god.
Because we can deal with that god.

Guess what…. that defined, tamed, dealt with god… isn’t our God.
Our God may have made us in his image, but I’m sure he didn’t give us his mind.
Our God doesn’t fit in some pretty packaged christmas box.
Our God doesn’t go along with our world, God IS our world.

Why do we presume we know what God wants?
We don’t even know what we want.

Why do we insist on forcing our God into a chinese takeout box, conveniently packed to cater to our politics, desires, wants, and prejudices.

My God is bigger than “THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT”
My God is stronger than any seven day theory. I call my God my Abba, my Father because he isn’t some pretty little idol with a bow on his head.


I believe:
I believe that the periodic table of elements is the single most convincing evidence for God’s presence.
I believe that gay, straight, bi, and just plain confused people… are people, all the same.
I believe we are all sinners, we are all broken, and we are all covered under His grace if we choose to accept it.
I believe that the Bible is full of amazing stories, full of moral teachings, actual happenings, and amazing tales.
I believe it is inspired by God.
I believe it was written to be a book upon how we base our lives.
I do not believe that it is infallible, that is it absolute truth.
I believe the word of God is absolute truth, I just don’t have faith in our human dictation of what He said.
I believe in intelligent design.
I believe in some form of evolution, as the creation of the world happened over thousands of millions of years.
I believe in childlike faith, and living with a reckless abandon for God.
I believe that life is hard, unfair, tough, and challenging.
I believe that God can deal with my life.
I believe that God cares more about the journey than the destination.
I believe that there aren’t some answers for some tough questions.
I believe that God is okay with that.

I believe that my God can’t fit in a box.
My God doesn’t go with accessories, or extras.
My God doesn’t need shiny paper to be beautiful.
My God is my God.

And if your God isn’t your God,
I don’t think we are worshipping the same God here.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Prayer for Zach.

This is one of the students I work with. Zach has a deep place in my heart. I see potential in him. I see love in him. I see care for his friends in him. I see a confussed young boy....
Lord grant saftey, and meet Zach as you always have...right where he is. We are on our knees battling for his heart, may you cover him with grace, and grant him strength to overcome. Be with his family, especially his mom, as this time is unknown.
my heart is broken.

Saturday, November 24, 2007


You know when you feel like you have been waiting way too long for a haircut. Well the wait is over. I think I like it.

Friday, November 23, 2007


Its been a little crazy around here but the good kind of crazy where your family makes you smile, laugh and well be thankful. That sounds so lame and cheesy but really its true.
This Year thanksgiving was chill with only 12 of us here...yes that is small for us. My cousin brought his Wiii and well we all have got competitive to say the least. We still played Trivia pursuit which my team lost again...shoot...I need another Christmas miracle. Its true I have lost this years thanksgiving torrney but I'm going to win Christmas...I'm betting on a good team. Ohh yes it will happen
Enjoying my time...in fact its 2 am and everyone just went to sleep. We did the same the night before...Holidays are full day events around here.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Prefer to be blind

You know how you wonder about some students but you never really have the proof. And for that matter when you find the proof…your not even sure that you want to believe it.

Sunday...was one of those nights. Its nothing that I have never seen before. Its not uncommon or hard to obtain unfortunately here in Santa Cruz. I suppose I just have preferred to be blind, hoping they would’t bring it to youth group. With a deep hope that my observations would be off.

The reality is that if I am Blind then I don't have to deal with it. We need to...now is just the battle of how. Since the hard evidence was just in front of us. sigh.

My heart aches for our students. Its another reality check, in regards what is really going on in our students lives. Jr high...it just seems too young to mess with anything. But times change, and I know that it indeed happens all the time.

I'm just glad they are still walking through our doors.

Lord, continue to grant us grace, love, and courage
as we work with all of our students in your ministry.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

What does LOVE look like?
It has the HANDS to HELP others.
It has the FEET to HASTEN
to the poor and needy.
It has EYES to SEE misery and want
It has the EARS to HEAR the
sighs and sorrows of men.
That is what LOVE looks like.

A few weeks ago, My dear friends...made a choice to give up thier wedding gifts in lue of a Giving Fund. To start there marrage off by giving away. so Beautiful really. So amazed at thier hearts to give.
May we be moved to give and continue to give...because we have been blessed. myself included.

Pajamas on a Tuesday

Pajamas are a funny thing.
If you don’t have them you miss them.
If you don’t have money to buy them, you don’t have them.
Personally, I have many pajamas
Personally, Probably too many.

So my POINT:

Derek our College Pastor and the College group have been working with some families at the homeless shelter. Here is the deal there are families there that need baby clothes and other things.


This Tuesday, Todd, Me, and You…
(Well at least I hope. )

If You are an: Edge Student, Oasis Student, or an jr high or sr High leader you are welcome. (shoot if your in the area…You could come too)

Are leaving the Church at 3 pm this TUESDAY.
Packing up the Burb the White Van, and Leaders cars if we need.
We are driving to Target, and BUYING BABY CLOTHES.

Bring $10 to add to the fund (or as much or as little as your heart desires)
These Babies need Pajamas.


Personal note: I just think its not ok for people to go hungry or with out the basic needs like something as simple as Pajamas. Pajamas for Babies. My heart broke and is breaking just thinking about it.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Too Tired to be up this late...

Tired of my brain still working instead of sleeping...


Need Sleep.

Need Rest.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Aaron Everett DeBondt

Aaron Everett DeBondt
1980 - 2007
Aaron Everett DeBondt, 27, born March 5, 1980, in Luverne, MN. He went home to be with the Lord on November 7, 2007. A Celebration of Life will be held at Laurelglen Bible Church, 2801 Ashe Road, Tuesday, November 13th, at 10:00 a.m. Aaron is survived by his mother, Judy of Bakersfield; his father, Randy of Rock Valley, IA; brothers, Travis, Nathan (Jackie) and Justin (Jen); grandparents, Everett and Catherine Fikse of Hills, MN. Aaron was very fond of his nephew and two nieces. He cherished his many friends and was well known by many for his compassionate heart. Aaron attended Sing Lum, Tevis, Stockdale High, BC, and graduated from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo with a degree in business. He was currently working as a Pharmaceutical Rep. Sharing his faith, golfing, playing soccer, and watching his Raiders play were some of his passions. Aaron had strong faith in his Lord, and his favorite quote was, "God is hiding in the world. Our task is to let the divine emerge from our deeds." In lieu of flowers his family asks contributions be made to the Fresno Burn Center. Aaron Everett DeBondt Mar. 5, 1980 - Nov. 7, 2007 Published in the Bakersfield Californian on 11/11/2007.


Its just feels strange to get a phone call from a friend and hear that, an old friend of ours has passed away. Its more strange to read an old friends Obituary when you are only 28 years old. I went to High school with Aaron, and knew him best through the doors of Laurel Glen Bible Church. I was always fond of his goofy personality, sweet smile, and love for people.

Unfortunately life, and growing up has made me loose contact with many from the past. In the presence of that does not remove fond memories nor the realisation that life is indeed short.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Going to Mexico again.

So do to some unpredictable circumstances...

This Thursday Morning I will be on a plan down south, to which the next morning I will be driving into Mexico for the day, then I will fly back Saturday morning! WHooo HOoo!

Thus again delaying my passport. GRRRRrrrr...I hope they let me back in again.

Things we will do there:

  • meet with college students

  • Meet with APU guys for details and what knot's

  • sleep in a hotel

  • drive to Mexico

  • Meet with our pastor

  • Visit possible sights with our pastor for our Spring Break Mexico Missions Trip

  • Hoping to find a place to sleep, camp, a place that is safe, a place that is chill.

  • we are looking at the place where bay side stayed and a few the pastor had

  • Get a good night Sleep!! Hopefully 2!! Whoo Hooo!

a phone call goes both ways...

Friendship is never easy, especially ones that you have had for many years.

Somewhere along the line people fight, people make amends, and people live life as scheduled, friends grow together.

Now there are plenty of times where you can pick up where you left off, which is something I do often, however I am speaking of the other 2% of friendships.

But somewhere along the line there is a change. An element of giving up. As though both sides have surrendered. surrendered because of the work they see ahead, or because they just don't see the reason why. The battle seems harder than the prize.

This as a whole makes my heart hurt. I have watched it happen to many people including myself and its hard because when on tries to invest so much and receives nothing in return, you become weary. You become heartbroken and long for how life was.

David & Johnathan Fought for their friendship. My hearts cry is to always be that way, but sometimes it feels like I am Johnathan, and the David's in my life have not seen, or responded to the sign.

I want to be and for others to be a friend that still loves me when my heart hurts, and when I have no words. That's the friend I want to be.

NOTE: I love my friends...the ones that are close, even the distant ones I know I can call on in a moment and you will come through. this is a rant on how I am feeling currently

Monday, November 5, 2007

I realise that this is why I am single...

I never answer the chain letters, that in the old days where actually mailed. WOW!! I am old. But today they are simply a click away on my space. Everyday there are at least 20 + Bulletins that posted for all to see. If you open it then OOOOHhh ___________ bad thing will happen.

Here are some examples for fun:

EXAMPLE 1: This is cool but this is weird try it:

Say your crushes name seven times...Now close your eyes and make a wish about them...Decide what's more important, love, or 10 million dollars...Now make one last wish, the love, or the money...
Re post this in 70 seconds with the subject "MY CHILD'S NAME aww...this is
cool" and you'll get an unexpected talk from your lover...DON'T MESS this up or

my first kiss was with…

Because u opened this, u will get Kissed on Friday by the person u love [or like]& 2morrow will be the best day of ur life, so Don't break this chain cuz if u do you'll have problems with relationships for 10 years =[ Re post this as "my first kiss was with


I should have guess this is why, I am still single.

I am off to respond to a Chain letter. I only have 3 minutes left before my
future is DOOOMED!! I
must hurry.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

YS Youth Workers Convention in SD

Still unpacking it all but alas These are some of the people that I was with and was blessed by during the Youth Workers conference, in San Diego... It is what made the time well, it was just good for my soul.

Monterey Bay Aquarium

I just love this place...On Monday I had the opportunity to join a friend there and have a much needed day off. I had a wonderful time, something about the fishes that make me happy! They just bring peace to watch and explore.

On some levels I blame my parents for instilling, and cultivating our sense of discovery, adventure, and appreciation for such beauty as this. I gasped many times as I was in awe of things that I have seen before, but for some reason always make me say, "That is AMAZING!"
Our God also makes some pretty amazing stuff, even some ugly things...like the sun fish...what is that things anyway?
Things I loved there:

*Wild about otters (I might be)
*Otters Otters Otters

*Those fishes that hide in the sand

*The grace of the Jelly Fish
*The grace of sharks

*So many strange fish
*Being able to touch star fish and other things that I don't know what they are called

*The Dolphin Shark: so graceful

*That you can sit for an hour and not know that you have sat that long because its just THAT PEACEFUL!!
Some of my FAV things about the aquarium!

Live Life

walking boldly as though nothing can
hold you