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Santa Cruz, CA
living, and loving people. in the midst of my humanity.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Earth Quake on a personal Level.

It was a powerful Quake that lasted 30 seconds...

People left reminded of the 89 Quake and its devastation

Even thought it was a 5.6 and to my knowledge no one was hurt, and no property was damaged, people still paused in fear.

I actually sat on my couch and heard a rumble, then I felt it. I held my breath and looked across the room to see our light over the kitchen table swaying. gulp. I closed my computer. and grabbed my phone...then, I sat frozen unable to move. that 30 seconds felt like a life time. I was waiting for it to get worse, I was waiting for something to fall off the wall...I was waiting for certain destruction.

I suppose such is life...in the midst of something that is so powerful in our life we tend to believe that it will soon end in massive and sudden destruction. Its in the midst of the tremor that our fear is at its highest. and only when we pause and think about the tremor can we move on and see that it doesn't always end in destruction. May we live and not be shaken...that is my heart in the last two days. My God will not be shaken, may I rejoice in the morning, may I sing your praises Lord!

Psalm 30:1-12
I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the
depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called
to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the
grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. Sing to the Lord, you
saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing
comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be
O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;
but when you hid your face, I was dismayed. To you, O Lord, I called; to
the Lord I cried for mercy: "What gain is there in my destruction, in my
going down into the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your
faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help."
You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed
me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my
God, I will give you thanks forever.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Earth Quake Oct 30th 2007

BREAKING NEWS: 5.6 quake biggest since Loma Prieta
From the Santa Cruz Sentinel

SANTA CRUZ — A moderate earthquake rattled the region Tuesday night, startling county residents, sending moviegoers from theaters and drinkers from bars, but apparently doing little serious damage.
The 8:04 p.m. quake on the Calaveras Fault had a preliminary magnitude of 5.6, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. It was centered in the foothills about nine miles east of San Jose City Hall, and originated 5.7 miles below ground.
There were no reports of damage or injuries in Santa Clara County. Acting Santa Cruz Fire Battalion Chief Rob Young said the county checked out clean as well, though cellular and landline phone service was temporarily disrupted.
The temblor, which shook for roughly 30 seconds, was the most powerful quake to hit the San Francisco Bay Area since Loma Prieta on Oct. 17, 1989, according to the USGS. In the 6.9-magnitude quake, six people were killed locally, more than 300 were injured and an estimated 3,000 were left homeless. Damage in Santa Cruz County was estimated at close to $1 billion. Throughout the region it killed 62 people and caused $6 billion in damage.
Tuesday night’s shaker brought the 18-year-old Santa Cruz Mountains earthquake back to life for many Santa Cruz residents.
“There’s something about the month of October,” said Jeff Pappas, a bartender who ran from behind his bar at Clouds Downtown just in case the glass behind him came tumbling down. “This is the biggest one I’ve felt since Loma Prieta.”
Recent Earthquakes in California and Nevada== PRELIMINARY EARTHQUAKE REPORT ==California Integrated Seismic NetUSGS/ Caltech/ CGS/ UCB/ UCSD/ UNR
Version #3: This report supersedes any earlier reports of this event.This event has been reviewed by a seismologist.
A moderate earthquake occurred at 8:04:54 PM (PDT) on Tuesday, October 30, 2007.The magnitude 5.6 event occurred 8 km (5 miles) NNE of Alum Rock, CA.The hypocentral depth is 9 km ( 6 miles).
5.6 - regional moment magnitude (Mw)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 8:04:54 PM (PDT)Wednesday, October 31, 2007 at 3:04:54 (UTC)
Distance from
Alum Rock, CA - 8 km (5 miles) NNE (31 degrees)Milpitas, CA - 11 km (7 miles) E (91 degrees)San Jose City Hall, CA - 15 km (9 miles) NE (45 degrees)Sunol-Midtown, CA - 17 km (10 miles) NE (45 degrees)
37 deg. 25.9 min. N (37.432N), 121 deg. 46.5 min. W (121.776W)
9.2 km (5.7 miles)
Location Quality
Location Quality Parameters
Nst=250, Nph=250, Dmin=3 km, Rmss=0.07 sec, Erho=0.1 km, Erzz=0.3 km, Gp=32.4 degrees
Event ID#
Additional Information
2-degree map Google Earth KML (Requires Google Earth.)Topo map centered at earthquake (This link takes you offsite.)ShakeMap shaking intensity maps Did you feel it? Aftershock Warning NCSN First Motion Mechanism 1 Waveforms Waveforms for ShakeMap Berkeley moment tensor solution Tsunami Information Statement from the WC/ATWC

Monday, October 29, 2007

a day of rest

Well sort of.

I have been running crazy and tomorrow: Monday I have asked for a day off.

What am I doing on my day off, going to do something I love. I love the Monterey bay aquarium. Why? There is something that just fascinates me about the ocean, awe overcomes me when I look at all the "creatures". It restores me, it makes me happy.

I am going with a friend and I just hope I don't get to excited and make a fool of myself. Wink.

Sigh well I know what I love...and experiencing life brings me joy. I can think of nothing better for a day off.

That's my Goal. I'll let you know.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Arms Wide Open

Today: Was a "Come Away" Day.

Come Aways are led by my pastor and his wife. They are spiritual retreats, once a month, from 9 am to 3 pm.

Today was the 1st of this Season...

God and I talked A LOT...& he brought me songs, thoughts, and Questions, more questions.

I am unpacking what it means to be honest about my Desires, and see where they line up with God's Dreams for my life. Can I be vulnerable enough to be open to what that may look like.

That's all I can say right now.

What Happened in 10 days Part 2

Day 2 to Day 4: We drove down the coast of Mexico toward Ensenada Mexico to stay at APU's El Rancho Refugio. This camp is open for a tent city, Easter 1 & 2, and Summer Kids Camp weeks.

Our camp was beautiful and on a normal day would be really peaceful. We began intensive studies on missions almost immediately. Thus it not so peaceful. We learned outside where I could gaze upon the Bougainvilleas when my undiagnosed ADD was out of control.

In fact I took notes better than I did in college. Note taking has always helped me concentrate so stayed focused on our professors. Who where truly wonderful, Brian (who's last name escapes me, and who is a missionary in Kenya), & Elaine Vaden (teaches at Fuller).

We talked much of missions and how the culture shift of North America fits into all of this. This is the time for change when it comes to missions as we know it. We have created a culture that worked for a time, like the YFC Youth rallies, even those had to reshape and reform into something else. Such is the same with Missions.

I would say that my heart was moved in many ways that I am not sure I have fully unpacked yet. Four days of rich detail, processing, and listening to the hearts of the Mexican People. We came with questions and left with more questions. The beauty is, we also left with hope, hope that we are in the midst of something Larger than we know how to tackle or comprehend. The Question is, Is the American Church as we know it ready to move?
As we speak there are more missionaries from, China, Mexico, and South America than that of the usa. People where motivated and shown how to be missionaries by many from the states, and canada. Now they are giving back, and truly following the Great Commission. Their culture and visas are granting them better access into areas Americans are not allowed.
So what now, we cannot stand back, we must answer this call, this cultural shift in Missions. How....We must pray, breath, and walk boldly forward. We must make teeth marks!
"TEETH MARKS: Biting down hard and leaving behind something uncomfortable. Something that causes a blemish and an audible ouch. Something that Awakens. Something aggressive that changes and lasts. Not a flash bang, but rather a crater of care." - Flash Bang - by Mark Steele

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

a caterer or a florist

The last days have indeed been a whirl wind but what started that off with:
Friday the 12 th of October. In the midst of it all I was still being dedicated to doing something new on friday.
So this is what i did.

I met up with my friends mom who is a florist and I did something I had only wished I could do before. You see, I have always had a deep love for flowers.

  • buying them for myself

  • buying them for others

  • stopping to smell them

  • taking pictures of them

  • arranging sub par bouquets for my brother

Many year's ago my brother told me,

"Your either going to be a cater or a florist"

When he said that it really resonated with my creative spirit as well as a desire to create something a person wanted, in essence provide a service. Now we all know that I have not become either in a full time, but my heart still enjoys serving people with this heart.

You see Marcie runs her own flower shop, she fills orders for weddings and special occasions.

I was able to create for a day...and I loved every minute of it. these are some of the bouquets we created. They are what the bride wanted. I learned on that day with Marcie that she sees being a florist as serving the bride to help her picture become a reality.

I was nervous the entire time but was enjoying all that I had created. I will probably help out again...at least I hope! wink.

a caterer or a florist...maybe I'll get to be a caterer some day too. Whoo knows?

Monday, October 22, 2007

Life has been full of adventure!

10 days of madness ending in fires.

Right now I am sitting between Brian and Todd trying desperately to debrief all that has happened.

Sitting in the San Diego Airport with:
  • friends stuck in San Diego (all freeways closed exiting San Diego)
  • friends evacuated from their homes at 5:30 Am this morning (home in Poway)
  • friends taking pictures of us in the SD airport cuz they think we are cool
  • Friends sitting next to me

The Next few days I will begin to unravel what is going on in my head.

But first I'm going to try to fly home...And then I'm going to sleep!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Never take JR Highers Ice Blocking

So I found 2 days ago that my housing fell through for my two days in San Diego. I was only slightly worried. Luckily I called my mom and asked on a whim, "Do we know anyone that lives in SD?" To my surprise my mom said our old pastor, wife and son do.

Wheew what a relief. One strange thing, I haven't seen them in almost 12 years. What does one talk about when you haven't seen people in that long???!!!

I know one thing, it causes one to reminisce about the times you used to have. I am reminded almost instantly of this story:

Steve who is my age, has a younger sister who is the same age as my sister. In the small town of auburn there was never much to do. I however having an older brother learned the art of many things under his wing. One of my favorite things was ice blocking.

In LOP there is this GLORIOUS hill on the golf course that is so prime for ice blocking it makes you drool! Seriously I'm drooling now. There where some rules that you had to live by:

(LOP Guards: Men that thought they where cool but really they where glorified rent a cops, who had nothing better to do then stop our escapades, of ice blocks, TP, and taking golf flags. Clearly we where kids that where bored.)

Rules of Ice Blocking at LOP
  1. Buy Ice blocks one person at a time...& sometimes you have to drive into town as to not tip off the guards.
  2. Never let the guards see you
  3. Always wear ALL BLACK
  4. Park far away
  5. Leave keys under mat on front seat (so you will )
  6. Your towel must fit the block perfectly
  7. Watch for sprinklers
  8. Dirt makes you fly off your block
  9. NEVER MAKE ANY NOISE (Houses lined both sides of the course)
  10. When you see flash/spot lights SCATTER

after that night we had to add rule 11.


For the first time in my life Steve and a few others took our sisters ice blocking. With in minutes of hitting the hill, Shreeeks and Squeals came out of their mouths like something I had never heard before. Lights turned on in the houses...Dogs barked....and I heard the faint whistle of the guard car. NOOOOo I thought. With in seconds a large SPOT light was on the hill. Sigh! I looked at steve and we both knew this indeed was the biggest mistake of the century. We Yelled, "RUN!" we ran and hid under cover of trees and shrubbery. It took hours to dodge the spot light and brings all the frightened ninos to the cars. We took alternate routes to cars...as we maneuvered around the reach of the Whistling guard cars. The night was a disaster.

All this to say. I wonder if my Childhood accomplice remembers that night?

10 days.


its about outlook. Right now as its 2 am...
My Outlook: Bad, because I don't want to pack nor do I feel like being away for 10 days.

While on the plane:
My Outlook: Good, there is no turning back now. Sigh, I made it

Day three in Mexico
My Outlook: humph, i want to go home...but I appreciate what is happening.

Day Five in Mexico:
My Outlook: Wait we are leaving....NOooooo.

Day 7 back in San Diego:
My Outlook: Americans....we suck. Ooh cute Youth pastor, and no ring...
ha ha Just kidding.

Monday the 22nd!
My Outlook: Ahhh that was amazing! Sigh, praise Jesus I get to sleep in my own bed!
Sings song to herself,

"Thank you Lord

feels so gooood,

every single cell

in my body is well!"

**(Note: ways to procrastinate packing: mess with your blog)

Honestly I am looking forward to spending time with Azusa Pacific University Mexico Outreach, as they lead us (me and other youth pastors) in discussions about Mission. I am hopeful on what we will learn, what I can apply to our ministry in Santa Cruz. I am looking forward to meeting new people that we may network in the future. I am anticipating new views on missions.

I am excited about pausing and letting God speak into my life, while in Mexico and while in San Diego.

At the YS, Youth Workers Conference I'm longing to connect, be refreshed, and enjoy worship without having to feel like I am looking out for the needs of others.

I believe this time, is time I have needed for a while. So while I am apprehensive of what is to come, in the same breath I am excited to rest in Him. It truly seems that the last two months have been all too busy. True rest has not been in my vocabulary, even with being sick, having random back problems, and my boss being gone for two weeks. I feel like I need an oxygen tank to catch my breath.

Such is life. Praying for Renewal. Praying for Rest. Praying that I will enjoy my time.

I return on October 22nd, in the PM.

Old Memories...

This is what they used to do to us as kids. Line up and take a picture...although the cousins younger than us...didn't get as many pictures like these.

Roll call Left to Right Youngest to Oldest.

My sister Alisa (trying to sneak away)
Me...I look like white
Angela Looks so happy
Dave my brother...some things will never change.

the only cousin we are missing in this age line up is Frankie who should be in between Angela and Manuel.

Ahh so many memories of us all running around together, are rushing back to me. The fact that there are so many of us (not me) that have little ones right now that we have turned the tables on to take a picture exactly the same way now. It just makes me smile, laugh, and a little part of me wants to cry, in a good way.

Mi amor, mi familia.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Rain Boots

I bought some today...
Mine are Blue with White.
Its Raining right now.
I left them in my car.
At the top of the hill.

i am sad.

But when I find them I will play in the rain because I can, and I will enjoy it!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Old & Young together

She stood on the picnic table and led us in games. I was afraid to say no, only because She was a woman of character and wisdom.

To the sweetness of the girls that wanted their faces painted...I just couldn't say no...even though I needed to leave.

the church picnic was wonderful on Sunday.

I think the joy is clear on our faces.

Monday, October 8, 2007

today was good.

Today was youth Sunday.(well I'm writing on Monday)

Today was good

I cannot put words to it. other than "it was good" in fact I made that comment many times today since this morning.

Today was a combined service...College and the Youth Department put it on.
Jr highers
High school students
college students
young adults
relationships healed
True tears
true passion

today we where truly a family of friends coming together in worship as odd as this sign is...and non typical of something I would use. It in essence was what happened.

People called in the sermon to have a Christ like heart the classic plea
"To love the lord your God with all your Heart soul and Mind."

It seemed at though today Jesus meet us all where we where: At the foot of the cross. Where honestly, I believe that we all felt his presence.

Tears came to me many times as looked around and smiled. I can't believe where God has placed me to serve. Not all days do I feel this blessed, so when a day like this is that kind of day. I have to take note.

joyfully overwhelmed and not sure what to do with it.

ps did you know that the word Good is used 562 times in the NIV bible. huh?!?!? wow

"and God said that IT WAS GOOD" (5 times in Gen 1)

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Personal space. Red Zone is BAD

Yes I struggle with this...Yet I love people?
I love my students...They (my students)have caught on.
It has become a game...
This Picture Proves it...and it makes me LAUGH!!!
Man I love them!

And Now a word, Taken from our friends At Wikipedia:

Personal space, an updated form of Edward T. Hall's 1966 proxemics, is the region surrounding each person, or that area which a person considers his domain or territory.[1] Often if entered by another being without this being desired, it makes them feel uncomfortable. The amount of space a being (person, plant, animal) needs falls into two categories, immediate individual physical space (determined by imagined boundaries), and the space an individual considers theirs to live in (often called habitat). These are dependent on many things, such as growth needs, habits, courtships, etc. Hall's spacing models, to note, were themselves based on Heini Hediger's 1955 psychological studies of zoo animals.[2]What distance is appropriate for a particular social situation depends on culture. It is also a matter of personal preference. People may feel uncomfortable if the distance is too large (cold) or too small (intrusive). It may be due to the limited available space, different cultural standards, physical intimacy, interpersonal relationships, or some form of rudeness. Permission is often expected if the intrusion is unexpected. Many customs are centered around just this particular issue.

Two people not affecting each other's personal space.
Reaction of two people whose personal space are in conflict.Personal space is highly variable. Those who live in a densely populated environment tend to have smaller personal space requirements. Thus a resident of India may have a smaller personal space than someone who is home on the Mongolian steppe, both in regard to home and individual.

It can be determined on a habitat level by profession, livelihood, and occupation. Personal space can also be heavily affected by a person's position in society, with the more affluent a person being the larger personal space they demand. See also ethnic stereotype. While it is highly variable and difficult to measure accurately the best estimates for personal physical space place it at about 24.5 inches (60 centimeters) on either side, 27.5 inches (70 centimeters) in front and 15.75 inches (40 centimeters) behind for an average westerner.

In certain circumstances people can accept having their personal space violated. For instance in romantic encounters the stress from allowing closer personal space distances can be reinterpreted into emotional fervour. Another method of dealing with violated personal space, according to psychologist Robert Sommer, is dehumanization. He argues that, for instance on the subway, crowded people imagine those infiltrating their personal space as inanimate.

Attitudes of people regarding someone else entering their personal space may depend on the sex of both people. Some train cars are women-only, to allow women to avoid men entering their personal space, providing privacy, and safety from the possibility of being groped. Changing perceptions about personal space and the fluctuating boundaries of public and private in European culture since the Roman Empire have been explored in A History of Private Life, under the general editorship of Philippe Ari├Ęs and Georges Duby, published in English by the Belknap Press.

Live Life

walking boldly as though nothing can
hold you