Be Open: Life, Its what U make it

"I took a picture so you could Blog About it"

2009-07-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

This last Friday I embarked on and adventure that quite honestly I had only been on something similar once before. My Fiance loves to bring people together, and more than that loves to allow anyone that wants to join join, and more than that loves a great adventure. One of his hopes is that we can enjoy some of these adventures. Trying to be the loving and supportive Fiance that I am, I agreed over a month ago to accompany him on this days journey.

As the days moved closer, I began to ask more questions as to what the day might hold.

There would be a 3 mile hike in, and a 3 mile hike back out, we would walk along some rocks in the river, we would find a waterfall, stop at places to cliff jump off of, and swim through many pools of water. I would need my outdoor shoes, a camel back, & any item to join us would have to know that, "on this adventure, everything gets wet!"

Everything seemed fine... until a few days before the trip... I begin to realize that even though we are a few months before our wedding I am in the worst shape of my life... this excursion could be painful. I also recalled the last time i was at a hiking adventure and remembered THE ROCKS. Oh the Rocks, how I hate them. If we combine my lack of Balance and fear of Falling the thought of walking on WET rocks TERRIFIED ME.

Melinda, "Are these rocks, small rocks?"

Pherf, "No, they are these really great boulder rocks, that are all kinds of different sizes, and really fun to walk on"

Melinda, "would you say that the rocks are a Small portion of the trip?"

Pherf, "Ehh I would say they are more than half of the trip"

Melinda, "....silence.... long pause....."

Pherf, "You ok my love??"

Nothing in me wanted to back out, but I had to tell him, I was terrified to go on this trip. I didn't want to embarrass myself or him in front of his friends. So after a long conversation and an amazing Fiance assuring me that everything was going to be OK...and that if I didn't want to do something I didn't have to.

We started our day with collecting our crew of 13 random people. We began our decent in I felt pretty good about it and was having wonderful conversation the whole time... don't mind me sweating horribly. eeek. After a few miles on the fire trail, we made it to the top of the trail that would lead us down to the River. There at the top we ran into many of my people seeking the same river and waterfall we where going to. Of course the boy talked with them and payed no attention to the man with the machete, but calmly (of Course) asked if they had gone before and if they knew how to swim. apparently I am the only mexi that was excited about the swimming portion and apparently everyone else was fine with these stupid rocks.

I must say that for me the "prideful person" that I am was indeed frustrated with the rocks. I slipped, I stepped on every unsteady rock, my feet slide off and under half of the rocks, I was most constantly the last person on the adventure to catch up to the group.

In the midst of one of my "Moments of Frustration" I looked up to see my fiance, just smiling at me. On numerous occasions he just... he just loved me well. He encouraged me, and was just so happy that I was with him. My attitude, was littered with sadness that I was not in shape, with fear that my muscles where about to give, & my knees could take no more.

Yet my love, smiled and held my hand, and hugged me as I felt like I was done. More than anything he loved me beyond what I expected. I expected him to be mad at me, or be embarrassed by me... all my expectations of how someone would treat me where thrown to the side.

Many times as he held my hand and patiently walked with my I felt my emotions rise, as he calmly looked me in the eyes and said, "your letting your frustration get the best of you, relax I am here with you, I love you."

...Who am I that I should deserve such love from a man... when I look back at this silly day I am in awe as how God used it to show me once again that I am so easily down on myself, and so un-willing to accept help from others especially those I love. I couldn't take my eyes off the rocks because I felt trapped in a prison of fear. I could not enjoy the company, nor the beauty that surrounded me due to my fear. The Psalm comes to my mind. ohh the lessons from this Psalm, sigh... The older I get the more I have to learn and re-learn.

Psalm 121

"I lift my eyes to the hills -

Where does my help come from?

My Help comes from the LORD,

the maker of heaven & earth.

He will not let your foot slip -

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you -

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm -

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both NOW & FOREVERMORE."

Venessa is in India...

2009-07-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang some of you may have know but Venessa took off for yet another adventure serving God this summer. Last year it was Africa and this year its Calcutta, India. As I drove her to the airport monday july 6th, we talked about how uncertain this trip was. I could not get over how I was not sure what this trip would do for her...How when I prayed I felt as though something would be different. What I am not sure... So my prayer has been that God would use her and work in her heart for a lesson that is unknown to me and venessa. God knows what is to happen in her heart. I feel like there as you read her words below that you will see his workings already. Check back here for info, and updates.

One thing for sure, She arrived safley in india, with only minor confusion and PRAISE GOD she met up with her team!!

Here are some of her updates so far:

JULY 7th
"i'm paying like a buttload to e-mail for a sceond, but i just wanted to say that i got here. i have never sweat before in my whole life, my clothes are actually soaking. i am in a bit of a shell shock." - venessa

JULY 9th
"this has been a blessing...my crew happened to come in a day early, right when i was signing off gracie was able to get my e-mail and i guess they bumped their flight up...i was able to race down to the airport in what seemed like a bumper card...i actually put my backpack in front of me just in case we got in a wreck and could protect the front of me from being stabbed by some piece of an auto...not joking. the amazing thing was that she e-mailed me before i had even sent her e-mail so i was kinda a surprise at the airport. i waited for like an hour and was just so blessed for the lord's protection. i woke up at 4 am this morning to rinse off outside and before i put my clothes back on i was in a thick layer of sweat. i sorta lost my appetite when i got here yesterday morning, so other than the starburst that melinda bought me that i had this morning...i have had no substance of food since on my plane at 2am. i am hoping to force feed food down my throat tonight. jayne gave me some books for my devo and i have been so blessed....can someone maybe forward this to her.......it is so overwhelming and yet it felt so wonderful to wake up at 3am and here a man outside singing out prayers....it was that wake up call where you realize...im not in kansas anymore.....i literally feel like i am in the jungle book....only the sad version of jungle book, the one that disney would ever put out. anyways, i have to go...must e-mail the madre before time runs out...i may have a chance to sneak in here tomorrow..." - venessa

July 11th, 2009
"sorry i am writing so much hahaha. i never guessed i would hahaha. today was our first day at the mother house volunteering. i couldn't decide if i wantd to be at the house of the dying or with the sick and handicap children....in the end i chose to be with the children...i kinda got a little feverish and almost passed out when we visited a friend who works at kaligaut (the house of the dying) after i saw some leg wounds with maggots crawling in it. i hate that i don't have the stomach for things lke that, i felt like i would be more of a pain walking away every time something made me sick...i was quite disappointed with myself, and had to remind myself that we all have different gifts....working with the kids was way harder than i thought. it is basically the same thing only they are children and i really just didn't know what to do...here we are experienced nannies/teachers/people who love children and we didn't know what to do and just felt so inadequate. i have so much admiration for the sisters and the begali women who work there day in and day out. they give us volunteers a chai and piece of bread break...and yet they don't take a break once. there were two little girls who didn't have eyes...everytime i looked at them my eyes would get watery- ... at mass there is a statue of mother teresa where she always sat in the corner and worshipped....its cheesy i know....but ever time i caught it with my eyes i would swell up again..just seeing the way she sat...how uncomfortable we all are with our bug bites, the heat and position of sitting....and here she/the all are i their suris, washing out of a lil bucket...im a wreck to say the least....but i am so glad i have a community here to experience this with. my emotions have gone down the toilet....so anything gets me now hahah. one of the sisters pulled me to the side and asked to look at the back of my leg...which apparently, got attacked with bites all over it and she was worried about me...i wasn't worried until i was surrounded by sisters gasping at my leg...and how did i not notice or feel them.....we came to the conclsion after they took me to the clinic that i have bed bugs. so gross. the surprisingly hurt so bad...and anytime we are on the streets someone comments on them....so i just have to go to bed again and hope that maybe they will get tired of eating me or eat my other leg to make it even. we will see. hahah so with that i have to go...we ae going around the corner to grab food but i will most likely check in tomorrow after the mother house. love you" - Venessa

So those are the updates as of now...Keep praying for my amazing friend who once was afraid of doing anything like this, who is in the midst of serving in conditions I hate to say I am afraid to walk in. I am proud of her and praying like no other for her.

times & title changes

2009-07-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that in the fall of 2005 when I first came to Santa Cruz as we pulled 2 part time jobs together to create one job. From that point on my job began to morph and change, next I became the youth assistant, to the assistant youth pastor and now 4 years later, on July 1 2009, I become the Full Time Youth Pastor of jr high & sr high ministries at High Street Community Church.

These last four years have brought me joy, laughter, growth: spiritually and emotionally, tears, struggle, depth, and happiness. I have learned more than I had ever expected from my students, volunteers, and my boss (now the former Youth Pastor Todd Trowbridge)

, lessons I will never forget, lessons that I am forever grateful for. Know that Todd is still around at church... God has just moved him around a bit, he is now an associate pastor taking care of children & administration at HSCC.

Todd & I worked as a team in this ministry of jr & sr high ministries. We found that we where most like siblings, knowing when we did something that it would make the other person mad and knowing exactly what buttons would be pushed, and knowing when to push for excellence, and when to pause in grace.

We fought over students souls, we dug for the best topics and lessons we wanted our students to understand about who Jesus is.

So where is this new adventure taking us... I don't know, but what I do know is that, my heart is, scared, excited, fearful, filled with eager anticipation, and praying for full confidence that we are right where God has us. Hope, is what I have. Hope that God will continue a good work here at High Street in Oasis and Edge. My heart still wrapped in love for students and volunteers, and parents, to come to an understanding of who God created them to be.

Pray for continual smooth transition, and life in the ministry that is before us. Pray for Pherf and I as we walk into our first year of marriage, and more ministry than we have had before, that we be wise with our time and balance our love for people, ministry, family, and our new beginning. Pherf and I have prayed, cried, and processed through this. we believe High Street and the jr & sr high ministries are where God has called us right now.

Details on our Wedding

2009-05-06T02:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends... would you like to stay updated on our wedding details???

Well our friends at the KNOT have such an easy interface to help us comunicate to you about the upcoming event of the Boy and My little party.

So check it out makes some comments and enjoy our story there!

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/MelindaBernal&KristopherKoenig

Texas 2009

2009-04-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow morning I am suppose to be waking up and getting on a plane to TEXAS...

We are talking 20 people adults and students to Texas, Galveston to be exact. We are staying with a church called University Baptist. Funny part is that, is our church's old name. What are we doing???? Hurricane Relief work, some people think its all better but the town we are going to, only the businesses are up and running... little to no people are back living in there homes. Just goes to show you how the when the media goes... so do our thoughts.

Well at this time I should be sleeping... But Honestly Please pray for us! We will need it.

But if you want to keep updated on our trip check out our Youth Blog: hsccOasis.blogspot.com

Clean sheets

2009-03-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Who knew that planning a wedding amongst the rest of my crazy life would cause me to finally this weekend realize that I couldn't remember when the last time I washed my sheets was. So this weekend I washed my sheets.

"Why is that significant or worth blogging about." - you say.

Why because tonight I am climbing into clean sheets (OK so they where cleaned Friday but that's beside the point...) and I can rest easy that I have one thing I checked off my personal list of to do's. So Shoot, THAT'S WORTH CELEBRATING! Do you ever find that in the midst of one more thing in your life... that the practical necessities (like clean sheets) get left by the wayside?

These last few months of bliss, have indeed been bliss! Yet...I am watching myself, make lists, yes the non list making me, is MAKING LISTS, which has been out of necessity for productivity, as well as keep my sanity. I should have paid more attention to my old housemates list making skills. shoot.

Not to mention, did you know how many list managers are out there for weddings, granted they all make me feel like I am behind in something eek. But really the reality is we are on the ball!! I say we because my WONDERFUL FIANCE, keeps me organised, keeps perspective and still is making me feel beautiful and loved through it all. I am blessed.

on fine night...

2009-02-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

What does one say when their heart cannot say anymore.

Have you ever felt so happy and so excited in on fine moment that you have no words...

Have you ever felt so surprised that in one fine moment you have no words...

Have you ever known that with all your heart sitting before you is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with is in front of you on one knee, asking you to spend the rest of your life together.

I have never felt so loved, I have never felt so special, I have never been so happy!

How did it happen how does our story of the boy and I begin?

We have been dating just shy of 1 year (one week and 1 day from when he asked me)

There feels like so much to tell. I will be back to share... Know I am loved and my heart is in a whirlwind :)

Final Moving days, Last Night...first night.

2009-01-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

Its all really surreal.

Originally typed Friday Night

Today (as in the day we actually hand in our keys)

I will spend a few hours sleeping

(cuz its 2 am and i still have time wink)

then people will arrive to move

the final pieces

the big pieces

and then the daunting task of cleaning.

Ok so now its technically Sunday the 4th...

We are moved into the church Apt. as temp tenants. We should be here for 2 weeks to a month, as we eagerly await the finalisation on our new house. I was blessed by the Boy, the boy's best friend, my Parents, one of our new roommates, and a handful of other randoms that crossed our paths to aid us in some way in our move. Seriously everyone worked so hard I know I would still be moving today if not for the amazing help. To those who helped we are SOOOOO Grateful. To you I say thank you!! To those that helped in spirit thanks as well. wink.

Pictured below Pherf (the boy) in the midst of

the organizing/packing chaos. He was tired wink.

There where many things that where frustrating about "La Villa", but all in all our little Cabin in the woods was DELIGHTFUL. So many guest so many memories, so many times of depth, growth, & Life truly living out in hospitality in a christian community, where we loved well, and fought well. Even though there where times where I was done with guests and just needed a time to be alone in my house, I still would not trade a thing, and loved having people in our humble abode.

Now we wait for the paperwork to be finished on our new house with our new roommates on the west side of SC. Now we pull as little as possible out of boxes and bags so our next moving day is not so hard. Simple. Right is anything really that simple? That's my hope. Want to know our move in date...so do we...so don't ask trust me we will let you know when we know. : )

Ride along

2008-12-30T03:03:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot...

Tomorrow or that is Today the 30th... I am doing a ride a long with the boy. I am nervous but excited about seeing his world.

Pray for us. And our safety. Shoot I always pray for his safety.

love you all!

I should sleep now

late night thoughts

2008-12-30T02:16:00.000-08:00

what an amazing few days I have had...yet full of craziness. It is hard to think that so much has happened in so little time... not to mention the days ahead

23rd:

Last day of work (before the holidays)

Visit with Barrett & Marta by the fireplace

Late night opening of one present with the boy, i just love my ipod touch

24th

Wake up & pack

Get picked up by the boy and head to his family's Christmas

Santa puzzle

Delivering Presents

Christmas meal of this amazing soup: all I can say is goodness in a bowl.

Story telling & laughter

Late night drive to Bako

Laughter & the open freeway & the boy and I

25th

wake up to coffee with my mom to realise

the boy and the dad already gone to see the homies and get the masa

tamale making, & much laughter, much learning, and much making fun of my siblings for not

Christmas (eve (wink)) Dinner

Photo shoot

opening of presents

Wii playing

a truly lovely day

26th

Tamales & eggs

hanging out with my familia

watching Across the universe

more tamales

dinner at tail gators with the McPherson's & Bernal's

Condor hockey game

late night at denny's

Late night watching too long of the series "whale wars" commercial seemed so much better...wasted hours of my life.

27th

Tamales & Eggs

Visiting good friends & their baby boy & playing with blocks

Coffee with good friends

Cal Game in HD

Tahoe Joe's with family

pack...and drive back to SC

28th

sleep off the tiredness

read a good book

Lunch with out of town friends

cleaning & packing some before more sleep

29th

Packing and organizing

driving to the boys for some coffee & bowl of cheerios before his work

Laughing at home with my best friend, in our home of two years

Friends arrive...

we travel to our mentors home

we reunite with more old friends at her house

we travel to Woodstock's pizza and spend 4 hours by the fire as if it where our home

rice crispy treats & hot coco: I'm going to miss our little red cabin in the woods

all this while watching Muppet Christmas: letters to Santa : ) the small lines above do not do justice to the joy I have had in the last few days.

I have an amazing boy

2008-12-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

he bought me an ipod touch. : )

Recap. Part one

2008-12-19T14:24:00.000-08:00

It has been far too long since I have typed anything here on my blog. It just seems that I have been rushing between one thing to another. I cannot believe that my last post was November 1st! wow. I have to say I am unsure where even to begin. Maybe I should start with my dash board of post it notes as a time line of events I have yet to blog about. As I look at the list I am aware that there is no way I will actually be able to write about all of them, I suppose yes if I was on my game about typing as they came well I would not be writing this but such is life. Bear with my my friends.

New Office: yes finally I have my OWN new office! Granted It did not come with a door, as we where still eagerly awaiting the insurance money from the burglary. I have to say the first days in my office felt surreal, I sat and pondered those that served at High Street and honestly felt very unworthy, though knowing my place was secure and even supported by those who once served there.
NEW BABIES: The day of my last post the boy's sister brought a lovely baby girl into the world. We went to the hospital and visited and held the sweet "Baby G". A few days later we drove to visit the boys friend and there new baby girl. All so beautiful and both Baby G & Baby J had Sooo much hair, its the Mexican in them :)
Bernal Family Reunion: Oh my where does one begin to talk about the chaos, depth, laughter, deep family ties, casino, wheel of fortune, mini golf tourney, karaoke, Don't forget the lyrics family style, so much good food, new family, dancing, & deeper connections with Aunts, uncles, cousins whether they are 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or shoot even a 4th Generation relative is that possible?! Overall an amazing time Full of true heritage.
MY COFFEE POT DIED: really I have nothing to say here. Only that this could be the reason I have not been able to write and that reason that my coffee allowance has gone up in my frequented coffee shops. I'm just saying... I love my french press but really it takes too much effort.
Pherf's Birthday and Party: I was sad that I actually was in Arizona while his birthday happened and well I love birthdays, even though I never remember what days they are on. I love them still. So when I returned we had a little celebration : ) I also left the boy with envelopes for each day I was gone sending birthday wishes.

This ends my Part one of my update on life here in Santa Cruz. I promise I will be better at this.

So why am I stopping in the middle of this Blog update, because tonight we will celebrate "YEAH the BOY is OFFICIALLY a DEPUTY SHERIFF!!" He has been now for 3 weeks but as noted in the first paragraph I have been a little behind on the updates : ) Tri tip burritos for all, along with some Rock Band I am sure!! Until Update # 2

Love ya.

Rain thunder and dark skies

2008-11-01T15:04:00.000-07:00

So on Thursday it started to rain...

So Yesterday it continued to raining. For the most part it has not stopped.

I know last was Halloween, but the rain made me happy last night because it meant that all the crazies where NOT out causing trouble for the boy in his patrol car. Although The Boys feeling was different on that, even though he wanted rain because he knows how crazy things get around here and the holidays, I don't think he expected last night:

Me: "so How did last night go?" the Boy "Man Last night was Boring, we couldn't even find anyone doing anything wrong" ha ha ha! I may have been too happy about this.

So Today being Saturday its still raining here!

So I ponder does this really mean I have to start wearing shoes???

So, yesterday I wore flip flops and slip on's I think in protest of winter coming.

So today maybe I will where shoes. Ehhh I'm going to a movie theater... Who Needs REAL SHOES???

Truly, I love the rain. Here in Santa Cruz I think it rains just enough for you to love it and not hate it.

update on life: Part 2:The Boy meets Familia

2008-10-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

So as we drove home from Don't forget the lyrics, my mom was on the phone with my aunt, and then it rang and again and she was on the phone with my uncle and so on and so on. Knowing my family I didn't think much of it. You see there Saturday night there was a birthday party for like number 28Th great grandchild, and sadly the boy and I had to leave town early, thus missing the birthday party. Yet the word was out: MELINDA WAS BRINGING THE BOY. So those phone calls where about having early dinner with us at the house. Picture the family dinner in fools rush in, yeah but we traded the mariachis for the wii : ) Which led to my crash course on who my family was, names stories and relation to us. Comical to say the least. Lets just say the boy had a few questions.

The Mexican Stats:

1 grandma

2 aunts

2 uncles

3 cousins

5 great grandchildren

My three Mexicans

1 brother in law

Total Mexicans/Relatives in the house = 17 + Pherf & I + 1 visiting Indian = 20 people : )

So he met my FAMILIA! Yeah above is not all of us pictured but alas we never get everyone : ) Those where just the people that where there early to meet the Boy, and visit with me. He said as we left, "I'm glad I got to meet ALL of your family" to which I laughed and said, "ohh that's not all of them" Shoot how did Tad do it? So far, the Boy still loves me and i suppose understands my love of throwing big parties, and loving big groups of people who I love, as well as faces to my family that I love so much. We took a girl photo missing my tia Ysidra, and one of the newest great grandchildren Mia (Barron found his way in the photo in my cousin's arms).

update on life: part 1

2008-10-01T22:38:00.000-07:00

So I realize it has been quite the time since I have updated. So I am going back in time some to talk about the fantastic things that has been my life.

After the time I spent in the middle of my vacation cleaning up the objects strewn across my old office floor (due to the burglery) it was time to get out of town for a few days. For me I was excited and looking forward to the trip. The Boy I believe was excited... yet in the same breath unsure of what to expect in the days to come. & could you blame him.

We climbed in the car and off we went to my PARENTS house. EEK! Yeah Following is a brief recap and some pictures on what happened on our trip.

DAY ONE: The Boy Meets the Friends

(Dinner Party with Friends)

Such a lovely time. Small simple. We arrive 30 minutes late (classic) which we had kept them updated on our travel staus that we would be late since we where arriving late into town. Unknown to us our host thought I said I would be there 2 hours earlier, so that's when everyone arrived ha ha oops. where we thought they where all just waiting 15 minutes or so. We had are really good time. My dear friend toward the end of the night and I quote, "Wow this must really suck that your girlfriend just brang you to a dinner with all of her friends watching you, wow, I'm so sorry" eek. to which we laughed. I suppose its just hard when you live in a town away from your close friends.

We also saw Bryce and Kelly at the market place which led to seeing: Van & Gay (Jeremy's Parents), Kristen C her mom and grandma, & Jeff & Tracy & the kids, to name a few.

**I took no pictures. Not sure why?***

HOME:

The whole weekend honestly hanging out with my family was really good. The boy was able to see us in our element, at our 'finest' , at our goofy time, late at night and in the morning. Shoot even Goliath liked the Boy : ) Probably both of our favorate times.

DFTL Taping:

Famous people: Meat Loaf and his daughter, & ooh Wayne Brady touched Pherf.

From the Car ride, to a walk through the studio, to actually watching the show, to dinner after, our time was Seriously fun.

My Brother is the Game Producer for "Don't Forget the Lyrics"

so it felt like we received the celebrity treatment. VIP Passes, free food, & we got to kick people out of there seats wow. I have to be honest I was worried when Meatloaf requested and hour more to practice than time was allotted however After the first 10 minutes or so, his star power was back. The Show was amazing. There was a time I was laughing so hard at him, I felt like something

was close to me like a high school student in my personal bubble, and Low and behold I turned to my right and a HUGE camera was in my face.

I am a little worried about what will make it on the show as i turned like a deer in headlights as soon as I saw the camera. eek. I was glad that even though my brother was working, that we where able to spend time with him as well, and I miss him so that made me happy. Look for us on TV Very soon cuz we are famous.

ODE to my Camera...

2008-09-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Hello friends.

It seems that indeed it has been a long time since my last post. As noted in an old post, "NEW POST<>

& now... I give you: THE POINT OF THIS POST.

Last friday the boy and I where about to be off to watch a plan in San fran. We already had a full day of breakfast with good friends and my favorite friday location (Harbor Cafe), taking a car to the shop, Go Cart racing (which I fear should be another post with much more of a

story), In&Out, and finally a rushed getting ready to go to the City.

So as I wandered into the living room... as if all video cameras where on me... The camera which captures so much of my life. hit the floor and died. So there it sit no

w near the dead plants, its in good company.

so today I am buying a new one. TRAGIC.

Grand theft in the midst of Vacation

2008-09-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

Seriously What on EARTH are people thinking.

Good news is our Santa Cruz Police Agency's are fantastic...the Boy was leaving his patrol car as it happened.

So Last night 3 lovely Smart and intelligent people bro

ke into our offices. Breaking and

destroying Doors, their frames, and so much more. They took computers, printers, petty cash, and our Senior pastors LARGE EAGLE statue??? WHY? Not only did they take things but they opened all Drawers, Cabinets, boxes, and threw them ALL over our office floors. Did I mention they stole One of the Church Suburbans (which was actually where they stored all of our stuff.) with the key carefully locked away...oh wait they broke that open too.

A Police Officer this morning summed it up best when he stood next to One of our Deacons, and our Financial Secretary as Finger prints, as well as a perfect foot mark on one of the doors they kicked in said,

"You can steal from Businesses

You can steal from Offices

But you can't Mess with God"

~Santa Cruz Police Officer~

I suppose that it is just life where things like this just happen. The great thing is we indeed are getting everything back as the three where arrested last night before they had a chance to separate the loot. We are waiting on the Doors to be repaired, to hear back from the police, and to hear how the Grand Thief Auto & Burglary,

destruction of property, and Destruction of religious property & vandalism charges go for our new three friends. I am mostly Sad, and Confused as to why? Its not like any of the property was really worth much. in fact they would have made more money if they took the doors instead of breaking them ha ha! But seriously...such is life.

vacation.

2008-08-31T17:40:00.000-07:00

Vacation...

This week I am on Vacation...

YEAH.

the end.

Spiritual Direction

2008-08-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

Reason and Thoughts on Choosing a Spiritual Director...

This is something that I have thought about since my friend Mitch in YFC started talking about his new spiritual director 4 years ago at a Student Led Ministry team Retreat, I was at in so cal. Since then it has always been something on my mind and I thought to myself off and on through the years, why not?

They seem to many to be something that is strange, but most often foreign. I will have to say that this has been something that I have pushed away as something that is for "other people" and not me. However, as we walk through ministry, (now entering my 6 th year of Full Time Youth Ministry, wow) if we do not take time to invest in our own relationship with Christ, how can we expect that we will continue living healthy personally, as well as having a healthy ministry. We cannot.

I have over the last year been attending once a month spiritual retreats from Eagles Wings actually led by my pastor and his wife which have indeed brought me life. So much life that I believe it has prompted me to take the next step. Also I am planning on attending a Spiritual Retreat Weekend with Jayne Price, through Mount Hermon...cuz sometimes you need so life breathed into ya. It starts on Halloween and its for the weekend, and I am excited because Jayne is amazing and she has told me wonderful things about it.

So I write here that I am looking into finding finally a spiritual director. Pray for me and guidance, as well as an openness. If you are in ministry or have been a christian for a while its something that I would encourage. Because I have waited way too long...it would be a shame if you did too. So I sit resting in his presence and taking in all that he has in front of me as gifts & beauty.

PS. I don't think I am lost spiritually just paying attention to the fact that MY walk is so important that I need to pay attention to it. So please don't call for fear that I am loosing it... just know I value your prayers. Know that I am excited to see What God is beginning to do in me yet once again.

The empty Toilet paper role...

2008-08-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

It seems that no matter where I am, the office, the home, the friends' house, the boys' house, or the Coffee House. I always with out fail am the one that finds, "THE EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLE" What are the odds that I would find these roles in multiple bathrooms across the state? I would say that I have about an 80% chance of walking into a bathroom and finding an EMPTY or Next to Empty Role. It has become a joke among some friends and co workers that they will hear me say, "its my spiritual gift to find empty Toilet paper roles" I have to say as far as spiritual Gifts go, I am really using this to its full glory.

But seriously it made me think, and then laugh and then think again. This is where my thoughts ventured to.

To often in life there are those of us that just love people. We love so much that it hurts from time to time... with a rush of emotion we pause and realize that we indeed have forgotten again about self. Which in our minds is silly because self and should not need anything. I would say that we even go as far as to say with our relationship with Christ, we to pour into and yet do not pause to be poured into by Him the only one that can give us the energy to love anything. Until that one day or moment where every place we turn feels void on some level. It is the thought of which I say everything is so good right now, why do I run on empty. Why am I with every turn finding the empty toilet paper roll in my life.

As I spoke with a dear friend, the other day we realized that we, for being a christian as long as we have, that we know what we need to do, however most often we fail to actually do what we need or should do. We know how we should feel about our relationship with Christ, yet we pause and forget the essentials. So here I go...back to the essentials that I know I should be present in.

lake trip... and now river rafting : )

2008-08-09T23:52:00.000-07:00

Alas its been a busy few weeks I am just trying to stay awake and say hello to as many people as possible. Where has the Summer gone when I have only been once to the beach, and it was really windy, but we laughed and enjoyed it ALL!! Life in a nut shell has not been easy, its been fun but has not been easy.

Have you ever had the weeks where you just need to keep a running tab of what is next because you end up forgetting what you just did with enough time to forget what is next. shoot! That's how I feel. I will say that the beauty of it all is while life is indeed crazy, Pherf (the boy) makes life easy. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he brings me flowers and we hang out with many, many friends both his and mine. Seriously in the midst of the chaos we have had two BBQ's with friends multi: splatt & Kim, Sammy, Cassie, Isaac, & Andrea, & Lunch with Becca & her Boy, Dot & Leslie, Dinner and a movie with Frits & Carrie, lots of Hummus with Monica, Grete, Ginny, Andrea, Moses, & Isaac, went to the Boardwalk with sweet Angie, Gator and Tuesday, hung out at Chris' new place with Alison, ahhh Did I mention that during that time I feed the DC 2008 Staff at my house, & last week my power was out.... Somehow we manage to have full time jobs and I still care for him more with each day. In all this craziness, keeping in mind that I was out of town for one full week with tomorrow at 7:30 am RAFTING with Jr Highers.

Something that I didn't talk about yet is that I just returned from our Houseboat trip 2008 with my High school students. It was amazing and stressful, and such a joy. I am still trying to unpack it all in my head. Its not easy. From my graduated seniors who I had a hard time being around cuz i didn't know how to say goodbye, and the truth is...I miss them already. To laughing at my new freshman who are just trying to figure out what this whole High School thing is about. To the water level dropping by the second and us having to move the houseboats by having 20 guys push the boat while the ladies are in the back jumping in order to dislodge the muck from the boats. I really didn't see the point half the time but new this stress was a necessity, I will not lie I asked God to stop dropping the water level but He had other plans.

So I sit her not packed for my 3 day adventure its 12:30 sitting with a full stomach of Crepe Place delight...I ponder...where has the time gone...and where has my energy come from. I honestly woke up early on the houseboat trip on 3 of the 5 mornings...I know right WHO THE CRAP AM I. But the Point is that I was able to see this what I used to call a myth, of the water being glass on the lake. WOW. I was in awe. Tonight I cling to that image of tranquility and Beauty, and I look forward to the unknown Chaos of a Jr High trip. So Pray for us : )

title changes.

2008-08-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

I have worked at High Street as many things for almost 3 complete years now. Strange How time indeed does fly. I have meant to write this blog for a while but the time as always has slipped away. I started in December of 2005 I left YFC Kern County and came to Santa Cruz to embark on an experience of growth, life, and fun, entering into a youth group, as an, office assistant & youth intern, Then it changed to a Youth Assistant or something.

However on the 13Th of July I was officially called as a pastor on the High Street community staff. Its strange because this whole process has been an evolving thing, and yet the whole time I have been enjoying every minute, even the hard ones.

God has really been blessing me with a partner that is like a brother, he challenges me, laughs at me, and is proud of me. We work I think as a pretty dynamic team working. I have fallen in love with santa cruz, the kids, and this one volunteer (but that's a different story).

Its still kind of surreal to tag officially the word "pastor" on as a title for me but, I think it will grow in me. The biggest fear in general is just the responsibility that that title carries. So I continue to attempt to be grounded in where HE wants me to be. And Pray he will help me "feed my lambs...feed my sheep" John 21

venessa august begins

2008-08-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

Finally Venessa has been able to have some internet connection Yeah!

Time there is still scary but its good, God is Good, Ministry is hard but good.

She has pictures and beautiful words on her Blog Please CLICK HERE and see through her eyes and her words.

Update on Venessa

2008-07-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

It is hard for Venessa to get to email while she is away in Africa.

I miss my friend, my roommate, and I find my self constantly in prayer, Constantly concerned for her well being. In fact some times in tears, or lost in emotion with the total unknown of her trip. What she will not tell you is that her journey to Africa is much more challenging and unknown with each day that passed before she left, and even now as she is in Africa. She is a combo if humble and stubborn to ask for help from you all and in fact she may just get pissed for me posting this....Point is I don't care if she gets mad, I doubt she will but I ask that you keep praying my friends for my friend who is there.

So I leave you this note she sent on the 23rd, and I ask that you pray.

"So i finally arrived today. it took ages to get here! it is really weird and the being alone settled in when I go to the hostel and tried to lay down and couldn't sleep. i proceeded to walk around and it just quiet here, and I feel like my day pack has to be on me at all times and im just tired of carrying it.

So I have some prayer requests its a lot more scarier here than I thought. they keep soldiers outside the hostel and Gracie was able to book me the first night and the rest of the time it is full. camping is an option here... and I went to check it out and lets just say it was a bit freaky, and its first come first serve. i am going to try and do that tomorrow... but a better complicated journey that involves... well my contact to answer her phone otherwise it would be dangerous to take the bus there and leave me in the middle of nowhere. i am going to look into other places to stay... so we will see." Venessa 6:47 am july 24th.

So there it is for now. I'm praying her contact answers there phone as I know the faster she can get to the baby haven, where she will be helping staff, an orphanage for babies dying with aids. Venessa will love, hold, and embrace the kids with that deep love she has for young ones. I know there will be tears, yet blessings.

vacancy & africa

2008-07-21T18:41:00.001-07:00

It is hard for me to sit here in my quiet house with "more that words" playing in the back ground and the sun setting on my dinning room table. I cannot help but reflect on what has happened in the last 48 to 72 hours. My house that seems to always be filled with noise and sound only echos the sounds of my ipod and the typ ing of the keys.

So what indeed am I thinking about? This last week I spent time in Catalina with good friends and a small crew of family enjoying the surroundings as we meet to celebrate my dear friends dan & annie's wedding (that is wedding number 4 of the summer that I referred to in a past post). Its strange how much people can truly become brothers in your life. Dan is a friend, amigo, roommate, and brother, which makes them family. Annie's brother's toast at the rehearsal dinner was ended with this final great line, "May you love each other as much as your family loves you" and it hit me...such power again in those words as two families begin to merge. Such a bond with family.

Family is about pissing each other off, sticking up for each other, laughing with one another, giving up your room as they visit, making fun of each other, picking up boyfriends from the air port before they even have meet them, killing spiders for you, speaking on behalf of you, telling you when you are being a mean, loving you because you are who you are, makes tortillas together even if its been 2 years since the last ones, understanding that you are stressed, praying for each other, standing along side they decide to go to Africa for a month, and standing along side you as walk down the isle. These are the things that make family both Blood related, and Life related, truly real family.

Ps.

I want to talk about Venessa's humble spirit and her journey to Africa to hold babies...but time is running out. I will post again soon. But know that She should be landing in Africa now. Pray for her safety, her heart, her health, the children and local adults she is working with, and her spiritual and emotional well being. Not only is Venessa in Africa but our blond friend Julia "bruin" is in Kenya (she boarded her plane sunday, Venessa boarded her plane monday) at the same time as venessa is in Namibia.