About Me

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Santa Cruz, CA
living, and loving people. in the midst of my humanity.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas Eve Eve...

For the Bernal and Solis Familia all we have known for Christmas Eve is that family's make Tamales. 

The process doesn't just start on Christmas Eve. The process really begins on Christmas Eve Eve. The meat is cooking, the dishwasher swishing, and my mom scurrying around setting up all the last minutes things, things that I am not even sure what they actually are. This dishes clang and the smells of chicken and beef fill the house.  I hear the purr of the blender, since the chillies have chilled...as the Tomatillo salsa is being made.

My Dad is fast asleep as early in the morning he will be off to pick up the masa and pan dulce at the Mexican Mercado, before any of us actually wake up. This year I may wake to join him...But no promises. 

Tomorrow will come early...and we will begin to spread the masa for the tamales. My brother and sister always seem to "have something to do" which seems more like a tradition every year that they don't help, but provide entertainment for us all. I suppose in a strange way makes me smile, cuz that's just what happens, and I love every minute of it. 

Every year it seems that we also have new people joining us...this year is no different, as Sara is in for a treat. laugh, and the hope to learn a new skill in the midst of our crazy familia. 

its Midnight here...so I will exclaim...as I drift off to sleep, wink

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Friends Missed

On Sunday Night a dear friend of mine took off for another Year Long Adventure to Egypt. He is doing wonderful things there, and always comes back with mountains of Stories. Alas we shall miss him. Lucky for us we have Skype. And that is lovely for chatting as if we where in the same room, for free! (Pictured: Me, Nessa, Barrett, and our lovely Chris in the Background!)

Not to mention that a few weeks ago, two other dear friends and there dog...moved to Indiana. Which, might as well be Egypt! ha ha! As I sat in there kitchen      and we wept, talking about life, and our hearts, I realised that I had not been the friend I wanted to be to them during there time in Cali. (Pictured: Trish, Nate & Lucy)

Not to mention the friends I have in different towns or that have already moved away. Its not easy ... ever.

My only regret is that we would have been able to hang out more while our friend was home! Funny how we miss friends so much when they are gone...but with life as "busy" as it is, we do not spend the time we need to spend with each other.

Which made me think. Sometimes I am indeed tired of fighting, some people you have to let go, others you must be satisfied that lives have changed, sometimes people move and you are closer when they are away because the times you get to talk with them there is depth, instantly because if you don't you will miss it. And so, we crave the deep, we crave the people that know us for who we are, and see what we are becoming. 

Do you dwell in ones lost or do we invest in those right in fount of us. We Speak our hearts, we are truthful, and we talk of the pain. Those friends stay...those friends fight for you. Those are the friends I crave. No matter if they live across the hall, or across the country.  

In the last 3 days I have heard this cry from many different people. It made my heart sad. It made me wonder am I adding to this problem. Are we all adding to this problem? Only time will tell. Only dropping ones pride can get you close. I'm talking to myself too.

We must hand out grace in our speech
We must be careful with the words we say to one another
We must hand out grace in the way we are treated.
We must lay down our pride and the sense of entitlement
We must cling to this love that only the Father can teach us.
We must Embrace the ways we where all created
We must love each other More.

Saturday, December 15, 2007


I loath nights when:

I should be sleeping because I have to wake up at an hour nobody should see.

I should get sleep because the meeting is actually one that I would want to be awake for.

I should be tired...but I am not.

I should be dreaming of sugar plum fairies.

I should be able to win spider Solitaire...but I can't

these are the nights...sigh. 

I am off to attempt sleep.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Elf Yourself

I have to say this is a wonderful and cleaver marketing scheme of Office Max. The first time I saw it a week ago I was crying laughing. Exactly one week, being today I received a my space message from my cousin Angela with a link to "Elf Yourself" To my surprise...She had created 4 elves...Who may look familiar to you (I have to say My brothers face and hip movements are the best!). Just click this link below and enjoy! Then Elf Yourself!


On Sunday we tried to see Santa. To our dismay...our Santa friend was off duty. So what do people do when they are hyped to see Santa? They get crappy Santa hats and pose in front of the Christmas trees, doesn't everyone do that? I love my friends

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Just call me Buddy...

Finally our Christmas tree has arrived! 

Christmas Tree Stats:
Location: Living Room: on Top of our Bistro table (adds 2 more feet)

Height: 2 feet tall
Ornaments: Urban Outfitters: hip and random colors

Tree Star: Dollar Tree (yeah!! Venessa & I may LOVE IT)

Lights: One String 100 count (I told you its huge)

Sitting at Midnight 
enjoying the Christmas Spirit... AMAZING!

There is something that gets me every year and its sitting in the room, with the tree lights on, very few lights on, and everyone has gone to bed. There is this peace that I get just from sitting near it. Something, that I am just realising Its just not Christmas to me until I get to pause by my tree...as silly as that is. I can't lie I just love it.

Friday, December 7, 2007

I'm no critic

This afternoon I spent a lovely Friday afternoon watching old shows online as I caught up to wherever prime time TV is these days. I took time to rest which is something I'm not sure I do enough...

On to the point of this entry...today with my two good friends I went to see finally, "Across the Universe" 

If you know me at all you would know that I have always loved the Beatles and in fact was a bit crazy during the time when the Anthologies came out. A spark usually come to my eye upon the first notes of a song. especially some of my favorites: hey Jude, all you need is love, black bird (to which I would like to take the time to
publicly apologize for playing the 1st 15 seconds over and over again while my sister 
and practically my sister sat annoyed...because Napster only played what it downloaded on second at a time), don't let me down...to name a few.  

I'm no critic but I absolutely loved this movie. A musical love story that tied in so many Beatles songs, character names, and lines from songs woven into the script. You can appreciate this movie with little knowledge of the songs...but you will smile more if you have just a bit. I was caught up in the love story, friendships, imagery, and musical score.

I do have to say that I recommend this like I recommend "love actually" & Moulin Rouge. This movie is wonderful but indeed has its moments where, well the artsy word of exposure come in. If I could edit those parts out I would recommend this to all crowds however since I cannot I suggest watching only if your ok with about 20 minutes of random inappropriateness in a artsy love kind of way. 
This was creative...and worth buying...not just the movie but the 

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Coffeecat Days

Its Wednesday at Coffeecat

I have been here a few hours working on my talk for Oasis High School Group tonight...

Struggling with pulling all these cool thoughts together...

it always comes. 

These are the times where I have to pause and say...Hey God...I need you to guide me to what you would want me to teach tonight. Lead me to the heart of what you want said to these students tonight. 

Family Traditions

What are yours around the holiday's?

Our Family's Top Three

  1. Tamales Christmas Eve
  2. Trivial Pursuit team competition
  3. Opening Presents Christmas Eve (wrapping most of the hours before that)
To name a few

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Ginger Bread Houses

I suppose I have always been a sucker for traditions. I have always felt that a tradition, no matter how silly it seems is important to have and to continue.
Many Years ago a dear friend of mine and I started a tradition. A tradition to build ginger bread houses with friends. Some we know and some we don't, the point being able to be creative and well not so creative in some ways. wink. I love that we started that tradition even though we now live miles apart. I always think of Jana and I talking about it and everyone thinking we where crazy for coming up with the idea, and then really enjoying there time once creating.
Tonight I ended up serving frosting most of the night. Which made me have an interesting view of the night. Peoples Personalities really come out while being creative. There is the focused person, who sticks there tongue out while working, and can barely look up at those around them. The Carefree person who just is excited about all the colors. The Dreamer who can make any pile of candy look like something magical and believe that it is. The Precise person who's every candy piece is lined up and colors rotated perfectly. The People Person...who could care less about the actual house and often forgets to even decorate the house. The Observers who are content to just be in the midst of good friends, eating candy as we all chat. 

So I suppose my thoughts are as these. Make some traditions this year...or go back to the ones that you have done and look at them in a new light. Enjoy the uniqueness of all gathered and celebrate that. I am speaking to myself here too. Fun. 

Monday, December 3, 2007

A good day...

Do you ever have one of those days that is just good? Today was one of those days. 
Things that where fun, funny or made me smile today, and made me enjoy living in Santa Cruz.
  • a drive down 17 into town seeing the ocean in the back ground
  • a cup of coffee at one of many of my favorite coffee shops
  • a Breakfast Burrito at Lunch
  • Pausing to watch some surfers on West Cliff as I pondered my Talk for Oasis
  • Meeting with a volunteer, talking about her heart.
  • driving past a homeless man holding the "little Cesar's Pizza" Sign while the actual employee was standing by teaching him his advertisement moves
  • txt messages from friends that make me smile
  • txt Messages from my boss that their new baby boy was born
  • Seeing the newest addition to the Trowbridge family
  • Watching their kids so happy about there new baby brother
  • Laughing at a staff meeting of all things
  • Eating new leaf sandwiches for dinner
  • Watching Veronica Marz Episodes while eating a fun Christmas fetti cupcake.
All in a good day

Live Life

walking boldly as though nothing can
hold you