About Me

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Santa Cruz, CA
living, and loving people. in the midst of my humanity.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

What does a Stay at Home wife do?

DISCLAIMER: This is a valid question. Not meant to offend. And this is not the time to say have children. Don't worry we want kids someday. Its up to God when he brings them. And now my blog.

With my new found freedom, in joblessness for a time, I have come to the place where i wonder truly, "What Does a Stay at Home Wife do?".

Now please do not worry, there has been time to grieve, and I have grieved, and most likely will grieve some more. I have spent time being sad, and a bum on the couch, but lets be honest it only take a few weeks to catch up on your favorite tv shows that you haven't had time to watch. I have and will continue to get that extra renewal and time with God, which has been a blessing & in this time off. I have cleaned some here and there, & plan on continuing that as well.

Being a woman who was married at 30 and have worked all of her adult life. I find it almost conflicting to not have ANYTHING to do. I know that there have been seasons of time where people are stay at home wife's. I know there will one day be a time to be a stay at home mom. but the reality is that the world of staying home without a job baffles me. So I am here asking a question looking for some answers besides barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. This just will not do.

I have watched plenty of "real Housewives of..." and that's not me, I love Desperate housewives, but i just can't where that much jewelery, or have that many schemes. What does the regular House wife do with their time?

i need your help! Lets hear some responses.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

trusting where God Leads us.

I have delayed in blogging about this because its really just to hard to write about. A few months ago our church began the conversation about finances and cut backs. It is no surprise that the reality that the financial situation for everyone is not great. In the last few years the financial reality never really seemed to effect me, I think I just played oblivious and thought my job was safe because, who lets their pastor's go?? I remained in the clouds of no no one would ever be let go at our church. As we all on staff began to cut back budgets and spending drastically, it just was not enough.

As a newly married couple. Before the choice was made for us, we knew we needed sometime to seek what God would have for us. Before we where married we talked about one day what it would look like, or what would need to happen if I where to be at home, and had projected it would be at least a few years into our marriage. More than anything, when we went to the Lord first separate and then together, the Lord kept saying the same thing to us, "No matter, what this is MY plan, and this is what I have for you guys". So on hard days one of us would always have to remind each other what God had been saying to us, and we together had to Trust that "No Matter What THIS WAS WHAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR US."

The deacons, met, prayed, lost sleep, and finally landed on my position as Youth Pastor, would be eliminated. WHAT??!!?!?! Yet those words God has sweetly given us, "No Matter What THIS WAS WHAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR US." So I asked God, "Surely this was not what he had in store for us" i mean, they, we, the church had to have heard wrong, right God?? With what seem like silence from God, my husband first laughed at my judgment of second guessing God, and then in his sweet tone, said Melinda, this is what God has for us, even though we don't like it right now, this IS His plan for us. So I cried, and walked through all the stages of Grief, i stayed the longest in anger stage, & ultimately we knew that our only choice was to Trust God.

On my last day of work (June 30Th, 2010), i was asked to drive to pick up the church suburban from the shop. Since November of 2005 I have loggedmany hoursdriving the church vehicles. I never thought I would be so sad to drive a vehicle for the last time as an employee. As soon as I sat in the car my tears began to fall, the five-ish miles home seemed like an eternity. I began to think of all the wonderful memories we have had in these cars, from pee your pants moments, to singing at the tops of our lungs, to deep God conversations, to miles upon miles of all over.

This has been rough for both Pherf & I. My emotions have been a roller coaster. I have loved these moments with these students, and we believe we have finished our ministry well. My Edge & Oasis students old and new! We love you and we will always be here for you! We want to hear your happy moments, sad moments, and God Moments!

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walking boldly as though nothing can
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