I cannot help it, even though my spirit is calm in situations of heart ache, pain, and fear. Regardless my heart always is burdened for the hearts of my students, the hearts of my family, and the hearts of my friends.
These last few months, I really feel like I have been blessed. As hard as it is with an overwhelming compassion, and openness to seeing those around me that are hurting. I have been blessed with a compassion to hear and let God have what ever is going on both in ministry and in my own personal life.
Its just ironic to me that in the midst of this I have been overwhelmed by people I love and care for walking through tough things in life. I cannot even begin to list them for it would make my blog longer than it needs. My desire to please and comfort has pushed me to a new level in my journey of Ministry.
I realise that I have continued to move to another threshold of life where I unashamed, and will fight battles to the wee hours of the night over my friends, family's, and students hearts, often at the cost of my sleep. But that doesn't sway me other than my coffee budget is high, and my day to day details. It all seems worth it. I just wish God would lay people on my heart during the day. cuz that works better with my time schedule.
Normally with such a burdened heart I would be more weary (trust me I am), I would not have the correct words, I would be moved to tears way too often, and my outlook on life would be incredibly dim.
Yet Christ compels us to lay things at his feet and that is something that i have been faithful to. That is something that allows me to move forward with each moment and new news that crosses my path.
It is in ministry that we have to continue to lay it down. We must continue to be on our knees for those we serve. And we must continue to be filled by God's overwhelming compassion, if we are to walk forward. I am blessed that he has given me the will power to remember that and walk boldly forward to be a part of that.
In the midst of it all, God and I have become much more honest with my heart and where I need to take risks, be bold, to share, and to follow my heart. The journey on days have been fun, and painful. Yet I see the benefits to my life and ministry that I cannot deny.
My only prayer for myself is that I continue to lay it down, and to encourage others to do the same, as I am encouraged.
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