trusting where God Leads us.

I have delayed in blogging about this because its really just to hard to write about. A few months ago our church began the conversation about finances and cut backs. It is no surprise that the reality that the financial situation for everyone is not great. In the last few years the financial reality never really seemed to effect me, I think I just played oblivious and thought my job was safe because, who lets their pastor's go?? I remained in the clouds of no no one would ever be let go at our church. As we all on staff began to cut back budgets and spending drastically, it just was not enough.

As a newly married couple. Before the choice was made for us, we knew we needed sometime to seek what God would have for us. Before we where married we talked about one day what it would look like, or what would need to happen if I where to be at home, and had projected it would be at least a few years into our marriage. More than anything, when we went to the Lord first separate and then together, the Lord kept saying the same thing to us, "No matter, what this is MY plan, and this is what I have for you guys". So on hard days one of us would always have to remind each other what God had been saying to us, and we together had to Trust that "No Matter What THIS WAS WHAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR US."

The deacons, met, prayed, lost sleep, and finally landed on my position as Youth Pastor, would be eliminated. WHAT??!!?!?! Yet those words God has sweetly given us, "No Matter What THIS WAS WHAT GOD HAD PLANNED FOR US." So I asked God, "Surely this was not what he had in store for us" i mean, they, we, the church had to have heard wrong, right God?? With what seem like silence from God, my husband first laughed at my judgment of second guessing God, and then in his sweet tone, said Melinda, this is what God has for us, even though we don't like it right now, this IS His plan for us. So I cried, and walked through all the stages of Grief, i stayed the longest in anger stage, & ultimately we knew that our only choice was to Trust God.

On my last day of work (June 30Th, 2010), i was asked to drive to pick up the church suburban from the shop. Since November of 2005 I have loggedmany hoursdriving the church vehicles. I never thought I would be so sad to drive a vehicle for the last time as an employee. As soon as I sat in the car my tears began to fall, the five-ish miles home seemed like an eternity. I began to think of all the wonderful memories we have had in these cars, from pee your pants moments, to singing at the tops of our lungs, to deep God conversations, to miles upon miles of all over.

This has been rough for both Pherf & I. My emotions have been a roller coaster. I have loved these moments with these students, and we believe we have finished our ministry well. My Edge & Oasis students old and new! We love you and we will always be here for you! We want to hear your happy moments, sad moments, and God Moments!