"Take Your Knife & Confront your Ducks" Julia Child

A few weeks ago I wandered through the redwoods and into my dear friends play room. With squealing children, laughter, blocks, & trains... We pondered, we cried, we sought what might God have, What might be next. It is these times in my life that i understand our dear deep relational God when I catch a glimpse from, my dear friends who never cease to amaze me, the ways they always point me to the truth, and always pointing out the truth in what I am saying. It is these people that constantly do this in my life that I know I am blessed beyond understanding, by rich (in character), family, friends, and amazing husband.

A few weeks ago I blogged about "what do housewife's do?" in response to many that seemed troubled by it, I still hold to what I wrote. I have had more time to walk through it all I know these things are true:

• I know there is cleaning to do, but that is not me (don't worry I am still cleaning), its not what defines me. cleaning and organizing is more of the given. cuz I did that when i worked a 50 to 70 hour work week too.
• I LOVE my Husband and I love being his wife more than I can express, and my last blog was more about the times I am not with my sweet husband.
• Really its about a redefining of who I am in a good way. Loosing my job at high street and transitioning for this stage as a stay at home wife has left me with many great questions on...
• Where is God taking me?
• Where is God taking my husband and I?
• What will God have for us as a family?
• What is it that I really like to do?

In that playroom a few weeks ago my friend reminded me of that silly movie Julia & Julia. More than that she shed light on a conversations that Julia Child has with her husband Paul.

tonight I watched that movie again. and I believe that Julia & I have that same spirit about us.

in a cafe in Paris...

Julia: sigh... What Should I do??

Paul: About what?

Julia: I don't REALLY want to go back into government work. Shouldn't I find SOMETHING to do? Wives... They don't do anything here. That's not me, Its JUST NOT ME.

Paul: I know.

Julia: I saw a notice on the bulletin board at the embassy, Hat making Lessons.

Paul: You Like hats.

Julia: I do... I DO.

Paul: (with deep care in his voice) What is it you REALLY Like to do?

Julia: EAT!!! (much Laughter and smiles)

I feel like the world is telling me that I Should do this or that. Yet one of the most beautiful things about this pivotal part for Julia, is that this launches her on this quest to find what is Good, she does not listen to the things that should get her down, or the people that question why she would even need to embark on these different activities. She presses forward trying one things after another, until she finds her passion, and what brings her life. I see that God call's us to just that!

1 Thessalonians 1:3

We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

So my new quest is not to begin making a cook book... although that has crossed my mind. But the Quest is to simply to be prompted by LOVE & HOPE... to venture forward to see what Cool things are out there for the Koenig's. This is something I think we have been doing... but in my funk, I think I forgot that. So I will try new things these days and it may be a while before I "KNOW" what is next for a career, for a hobby, and just what my free moments as a wife will hold. Only God knows what these "Free Moments" carry. Its those moments that I am walking boldly into. Feel free to suggest ideas and don't be offended if I don't do them... :)

Ideas already on my mind most which will never come to be but seem cool... Things like:

Become a coffee Roaster, open an etsy sight, Paint again, Cake decorating Class, Learn how to use a fancy Camera, decorate and organize the solarium to our office and studio (that could take some money but mostly time... good news I have that). Write something besides a blog.

"I took a picture so you could Blog About it"

This last Friday I embarked on and adventure that quite honestly I had only been on something similar once before. My Fiance loves to bring people together, and more than that loves to allow anyone that wants to join join, and more than that loves a great adventure. One of his hopes is that we can enjoy some of these adventures. Trying to be the loving and supportive Fiance that I am, I agreed over a month ago to accompany him on this days journey. 

As the days moved closer, I began to ask more questions as to what the day might hold. 

There would be a 3 mile hike in, and a 3 mile hike back out, we would walk along some rocks in the river, we would find a waterfall, stop at places to cliff jump off of, and swim through many pools of water. I would need my outdoor shoes, a camel back, & any item to join us would have to know that, "on this adventure, everything gets wet!"

Everything seemed fine... until a few days before the trip... I begin to realize that even though we are a few months before our wedding I am in the worst shape of my life... this excursion could be painful. I also recalled the last time i was at a hiking adventure and remembered THE ROCKS. Oh the Rocks, how I hate them. If we combine my lack of Balance and fear of Falling the thought of walking on WET rocks TERRIFIED ME. 

Melinda, "Are these rocks, small rocks?"  

Pherf, "No, they are these really great boulder rocks, that are all kinds of different sizes, and really fun to walk on"

Melinda, "would you say that the rocks are a Small portion of the trip?"

Pherf, "Ehh I would say they are more than half of the trip"

Melinda, "....silence.... long pause....."

Pherf, "You ok my love??"

Nothing in me wanted to back out, but I had to tell him, I was terrified to go on this trip. I didn't want to embarrass myself or him in front of his friends. So after a long conversation and an amazing Fiance assuring me that everything was going to be OK...and that if I didn't want to do something I didn't have to.

We started our day with collecting our crew of 13 random people. We began our decent in I felt pretty good about it and was having wonderful conversation the whole time... don't mind me sweating horribly. eeek. After a few miles on the fire trail, we made it to the top of the trail that would lead us down to the River. There at the top we ran into many of my people seeking the same river and waterfall we where going to. Of course the boy talked with them and payed no attention to the man with the machete, but calmly (of Course) asked if they had gone before and if they knew how to swim. apparently I am the only mexi that was excited about the swimming portion and apparently everyone else was fine with these stupid rocks.

I must say that for me the "prideful person" that I am was indeed frustrated with the rocks. I slipped, I stepped on every unsteady rock, my feet slide off and under half of the rocks, I was most constantly the last person on the adventure to catch up to the group. 

In the midst of one of my "Moments of Frustration" I looked up to see my fiance, just smiling at me. On numerous occasions he just... he just loved me well. He encouraged me, and was just so happy that I was with him. My attitude, was littered with sadness that I was not  in shape, with fear that my muscles where about to give, & my knees could take no more. 

Yet my love, smiled and held my hand, and hugged me as I felt like I was done. More than anything he loved me beyond what I expected. I expected him to be mad at me, or be embarrassed by me... all my expectations of how someone would treat me where thrown to the side. 

Many times as he held my hand and patiently walked with my I felt my emotions rise, as he calmly looked me in the eyes and said, "your letting your frustration get the best of you, relax I am here with you, I love you."

...Who am I that I should deserve such love from a man... when I look back at this silly day I am in awe as how God used it to show me once again that I am so easily down on myself, and so un-willing to accept help from others especially those I love. I couldn't take my eyes off the rocks because I felt trapped in a prison of fear. I could not enjoy the company, nor the beauty that surrounded me due to my fear. The Psalm comes to my mind. ohh the lessons from this Psalm, sigh... The older I get the more I have to learn and re-learn.

Psalm 121

"I lift my eyes to the hills -

Where does my help come from?

My Help comes from the LORD,

the maker of heaven & earth.

He will not let your foot slip - 

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you - 

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm - 

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both NOW & FOREVERMORE."

Recap. Part one

It has been far too long since I have typed anything here on my blog. It just seems that I have been rushing between one thing to another. I cannot believe that my last post was November 1st! wow. I have to say I am unsure where even to begin. Maybe I should start with my dash board of post it notes as a time line of events I have yet to blog about. As I look at the list I am aware that there is no way I will actually be able to write about all of them, I suppose yes if I was on my game about typing as they came well I would not be writing this but such is life. Bear with my my friends. 

1. New Office: yes finally I have my OWN new office! Granted It did not come with a door, as we where still eagerly awaiting the insurance money from the burglary. I have to say the first days in my office felt surreal, I sat and pondered those that served at High Street and honestly felt very unworthy, though knowing my place was secure and even supported by those who once served there.
2. NEW BABIES: The day of my last post the boy's sister brought a lovely baby girl into the world. We went to the hospital and visited and held the sweet "Baby G". A few days later we drove to visit the boys friend and there new baby girl. All so beautiful and both Baby G & Baby J had Sooo much hair, its the Mexican in them :) 
3. Bernal Family Reunion: Oh my where does one begin to talk about the chaos, depth, laughter, deep family ties, casino, wheel of fortune, mini golf tourney, karaoke, Don't forget the lyrics family style, so much good food, new family, dancing, & deeper connections with Aunts, uncles, cousins whether they are 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or shoot even a 4th Generation relative is that possible?! Overall an amazing time Full of true heritage.
4. MY COFFEE POT DIED: really I have nothing to say here. Only that this could be the reason I have not been able to write and that reason that my coffee allowance has gone up in my frequented coffee shops. I'm just saying... I love my french press but really it takes too much effort.
5. Pherf's Birthday and Party: I was sad that I actually was in Arizona while his birthday happened and well I love birthdays, even though I never remember what days they are on. I love them still. So when I returned we had a little celebration : ) I also left the boy with envelopes for each day I was gone sending birthday wishes.

This ends my Part one of my update on life here in Santa Cruz. I promise I will be better at this.

So why am I stopping in the middle of this Blog update, because tonight we will celebrate "YEAH the BOY is OFFICIALLY a DEPUTY SHERIFF!!" He has been now for 3 weeks but as noted in the first paragraph I have been a little behind on the updates : ) Tri tip burritos for all, along with some Rock Band I am sure!! Until Update # 2

Love ya.

Grand theft in the midst of Vacation

Seriously What on EARTH are people thinking.

Good news is our Santa Cruz Police Agency's are fantastic...the Boy was leaving his patrol car as it happened. 

So Last night 3 lovely Smart and intelligent people bro

ke into our offices. Breaking and

 destroying Doors, their frames, and so much more. They took computers, printers, petty cash, and our Senior pastors LARGE EAGLE statue??? WHY? Not only did they take things but they opened all Drawers, Cabinets, boxes, and threw them ALL over our office floors. Did I mention they stole One of the Church Suburbans (which was actually where they stored all of our stuff.) with the key carefully locked away...oh wait they broke that open too. 

A Police Officer this morning summed it up best when he stood next to One of our Deacons, and our Financial Secretary as Finger prints, as well as a perfect foot mark on one of the doors they kicked in said, 

"You can steal from Businesses

 You can steal from Offices

 But you can't Mess with God"

                  ~Santa Cruz Police Officer~

I suppose that it is just life where things like this just happen. The great thing is we indeed are getting everything back as the three where arrested last night before they had a chance to separate the loot. We are waiting on the Doors to be repaired, to hear back from the police, and to hear how the Grand Thief Auto & Burglary,

 destruction of property, and Destruction of religious property & vandalism charges go for our new three friends. I am mostly Sad, and Confused as to why? Its not like any of the property was really worth much. in fact they would have made more money if they took the doors instead of breaking them ha ha! But seriously...such is life. 

The empty Toilet paper role...

It seems that no matter where I am, the office, the home, the friends' house, the boys' house, or the Coffee House. I always with out fail am the one that finds, "THE EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLE" What are the odds that I would find these roles in multiple bathrooms across the state? I would say that I have about an 80% chance of walking into a bathroom and finding an EMPTY or Next to Empty Role. It has become a joke among some friends and co workers that they will hear me say, "its my spiritual gift to find empty Toilet paper roles" I have to say as far as spiritual Gifts go, I am really using this to its full glory.

But seriously it made me think, and then laugh and then think again. This is where my thoughts ventured to. 

To often in life there are those of us that just love people. We love so much that it hurts from time to time... with a rush of emotion we pause and realize that we indeed have forgotten again about self. Which in our minds is silly because self and should not need anything. I would say that we even go as far as to say with our relationship with Christ, we to pour into and yet do not pause to be poured into by Him the only one that can give us the energy to love anything. Until that one day or moment where every place we turn feels void on some level. It is the thought of which I say everything is so good right now, why do I run on empty. Why am I with every turn finding the empty toilet paper roll in my life. 

As I spoke with a dear friend, the other day we realized that we, for being a christian as long as we have, that we know what we need to do, however most often we fail to actually do what we need or should do. We know how we should feel about our relationship with Christ, yet we pause and forget the essentials. So here I go...back to the essentials that I know I should be present in. 

title changes.

I have worked at High Street as many things for almost 3 complete years now. Strange How time indeed does fly. I have meant to write this blog for a while but the time as always has slipped away. I started in December of 2005 I left YFC Kern County and came to Santa Cruz to embark on an experience of growth, life, and fun, entering into a youth group, as an, office assistant & youth intern, Then it changed to a Youth Assistant or something. 

However on the 13Th of July I was officially called as a pastor on the High Street community staff. Its strange because this whole process has been an evolving thing, and yet the whole time I have been enjoying every minute, even the hard ones. 

God has really been blessing me with a partner that is like a brother, he challenges me, laughs at me, and is proud of me. We work I think as a pretty dynamic team working. I have fallen in love with santa cruz, the kids, and this one volunteer (but that's a different story). 

Its still kind of surreal to tag officially the word "pastor" on as a title for me but, I think it will grow in me. The biggest fear in general is just the responsibility that that title carries. So I continue to attempt to be grounded in where HE wants me to be. And Pray he will help me "feed my lambs...feed my sheep" John 21

Did I mention my sister Visited??

Yeah that was last weekend, and yeah its already one week later but still it was fun. They where in SF for their anniversary then stopped by on their way home. So it got me thinking, my sister and her husband, with each time they are together I think wow, they are really Sooo good for each other! It was brief but it was good, as they stopped by for lunch and chats. Who would have thought that my sister and I used to fight like we did, I venture to say that in the last years we have gotten along better than ever before. I am grateful for that!

Since the joke with the family is that they, always go to the same restaurants while visiting Santa Cruz, thus every time they come I try to bring them to a place where they have never been before. This is both challenging and fun to find a place that is new and yummy. Actually in SC its pretty easy. This time it was Cole's BBQ by Sunny Cove. More food than

you can handle, not flashy yet clean, and just fantastic when it comes to messy as in all over your face.

This restaurant was a crowd pleaser as we all left full and

happy. Probably too full!! ha ha Venessa's food came last,

poor thing. We waited...ok so we all ate some fries.

Did I mention that my sister has a new blog?? Well she does and Venessa found it by accident. So enjoy. Blogging is taking over the world no matter what Chafer says...its really lovely!

Catching up my blog, months may & june

Well since I have been really busy in the last two months on this week of vacation I plan on catching up my blog on the past happenings : ) the wallpaper post happened on June 1st. yeah much has happened since...and much has happened in the month before. 

LIFE HAS BEEN CRAZY.

So sit back and bear with me and I'll fill you in on life.  WAIT THERE IS MUCH TO TELL. HA HA nothing but random details, alas fun. Then we will be back to normal life again : ) well that's the plan

wallpaper and cherubs and home improvement

So a few weeks ago we began a project on a house they call Bob. Well honestly I should say I just work on random things while they do all the hard work...lets be honest here.

Priority ONE: Cherubs removed. COMPLETE

 

Seriously why? Cherubs?? Honestly!? I am constantly in awe of the way people do things. I realize that art and decorations are truly in the eye of the beholder but wow. When I walked into the room it was indeed hard for me to not laugh at the fantastic cherub border and rose wallpaper. So I turned it into a joke, on how Pherf should leave it just as is on his walls, he didn't agree. Lets put it this way, he smiled and said nothing...to kind to tell me I was crazy, maybe that's why I like him. I know there was no way he would think of keeping it, and could anyone blame him?!?!?!

The boy is moving in with his best friend and there are some home improvements that are in need before anyone can move in. So being the nice person I am I helped take wallpaper down!! This was a first for me, on a Saturday but I believe that it can be labeled as a "Friday firsts" because its is still something I have never done before. I actually really enjoyed this.

I suppose wallpaper seems to me to be something that was a quick fix, as we have also just this last week spent time painting, and final coats to finish the room to remove even the thought of Cherubs. The simplicity and the ability to decorate off a base color has so many more opportunity's but wallpaper...seems limited, I mean you can only do so much with Cherubs!!??

My point...and yes I have one. simple is better, it allows more freedom farther along. Wallpaper is stupid, and no one in there right minds should use or create it anymore. As for fixing up a fixer upper: I need to watch more home improvement shows cuz I don't know how to do anything! ha ha! Alas, even with not really knowing, the progress makes me happy and the finished makes me feel accomplished. Truly I love the idea of progress, I love to see things develop. Trust me this house is developing... from the first day when I was sneezing from the cat hair from the renter to now...even though its still in process...I LOVE IT. I know I am crazy, and I am documenting the progress of "bob" Isaac's house will be lovely all around. indeed.

Priority Two: Paint COMPLETE

Priority Three: REMOVE NASTY CARPET, replace with nice comfy CLEAN Stuff: COMPLETE

Priority Four: hot tub. pending

Priority Five: Move the best friends in. pending

Priority: Way to many to list: PENDING

DAYS OFF

It seems that when I have the day off I would like the world to stop for me. 

sadly that is not the case. 

People work, people get sick...

That is just life...

Have I found rest?? Yes indeed I have.

Also, by day 3 I had to get creative. Being an extrovert and spending that much time alone...can make you go crazy. It truly seems like the world is driving 25 mph. And I want them to catch up to me. Although I suppose that might be why I needed a week off. humph. Now I am wondering where my time went and what did I spend my time doing?

I support stopping the madness and any local youth pastor that ends up seemingly disoriented because of too much time on their hands.

ps did I mention there is a mattress on my deck. ehhh. I was tempted to burn it many times this week but its much too close to the house...and well I like my house, as well as the friend that left it there!

Calm Before the Storm...

This week is my week off before we are off to Mexico for 8 days of goodness. What that "8 days of Goodness" entails is totally unknown for me. But I am not worried. 

Mexico brings: pressures of deadlines, and my mind keeps thinking we have to be forgetting something. Yet everything is falling into place, everything is where it should be, everything seems calm. So My mind says wait for the storm. My prayer is the Storm is a lovely one that you get to watch and enjoy the goodness. 

Today I sit in my kitchen (day two of my five days off), hearing nothing but the tapping of my fingers, the birds and the silence of my home. I have just returned from a glorious bike ride on my roommates teal cruiser where i felt the wind on my face and the sun on my skin. Nothing could feel better on this fine day. I have chatted with friends near and far, friends that are close to my heart and new friends on the rec field as I paused in the middle of my bike ride. I brought my housemate his lunch at school and chatted with one of my life mentors. I have read chapters in the current book I am reading. And its only 3 pm.

Today I also talked with a friend who I was suppose to visit but the colds sicknesses just won't go away. I was yet again reminded of the beauty of friendship that I have all over this state and county. And how powerful peoples prayers are. powerful. 

wow. What will the Lord bring me tomorrow? I cannot wait. 

1st'

This year has been a year of firsts'

I started actually a little before this year started...in fact this blog has been part of that journey.

I realized that I have lived in this town Santa Cruz as a college student 5 summers, and as an adult, now starting my 3rd year. Its this third year and the third thought of: Why do we, (being myself and friends) always go to the same locations to eat and play? Why not explore? Why not be open to all that is out there. Going to new places that I have never been is part of that journey.

I have always been safe and practical. i walk in life very very carefully. I am afraid of many things, but the unknown scares me the most. So when I started writing this blog the Theme "Be Open" was something God had really been impressing on my heart for months before. Its a total God thing that this year for our Mexico team, our theme that we stumbled across was and is "Wide open", Todd had no idea where God was taking my heart in this year 3. That has only encouraged my journey.

So as I have walked through this year it indeed has been full of mixed emotions, and trying to listen to my heart, trying to mend things as soon as they need to be mended, changes in life in love, changes in friendships, changes in ministry, changes in students lives, changes in family. All things are not easy, but this year has been about being open to things for the first time. My eyes have been in awe daily, and my heart has been in a fragile place. 

But this I know as truth:

"But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:25

I cannot say that this wait in life has been or will be something where patience is easy...because that has proven to not be true. Alas for the first time in my life God is working on helping me understand what it means to wait. He for the first time is granting me some of the desires of my heart. He for the first time is teaching me how to Trust Him more than I care to admit or acknowledge until now. He is granting me Hope through people and Vistas in my life. How grateful a

nd how intrigued i am for what lies ahead.  Mi Vida is an Open Road. I have not idea what lies ahead but I am Taking this Journey forward, and honestly thats a first.

Double Non Fat Irish Cream Latte

Yes that is my drink order...but its more than that. 

Today was a sad day. on two levels...

Level 1...
I walked into on of my favorite Coffee shops today and as the barista's common words, echoed with out thought I requested, "Double Non Fat Irish Cream Latte"...then she said the words I never wanted to hear nor expected. "I'm sorry mam, we are NO LONGER SERVING IRISH CREAM!" WHAT has the world come to??!!?!??! Would the drink that I love no longer exist. The drink that I have enjoyed for now almost 3 years. Change is bad!! I joking laughed and asked why...it was just the way things where.

(No worries the sister store will still carry my Irish cream...thus I will not suffer. And the Barrista had compassion on me today...She looked into a packed box to find a bottle not taken to the other store...So today, I got my latte just the way I like it.) 

Level 2...

So it got me thinking. Why is it that we, stumble across the things in life which we love to have around, we enjoy the company, or the luxury of such a common place. And the moment its about to disappear or it has disappeared...our Hearts sink. Our hearts are surprised by the sudden vacancy, and even scared before it leaves or fear its loss.

Like a child who's parents have taken away our favorite toy, for good reason...we look up in confusion, and sometimes tears, wondering why they would take away something so precious to us. It is that picture that brings me to the relationship with our Creator God. Our hearts that feel like we are waiting for something....but what...always seems uncertain until we can almost taste it. 

As a friend spoke to my heart this morning as we both have been wandering through ministry and life together, though living in separate towns, right now our hearts resonate. This is what she said to me among other things, "Isn't it funny how the Lord seems to always put us in those situations in almost everything. To have to completely relinquish ourselves to his control and his will and especially trust him with our hearts...like we are just holding them out there saying, "OK Lord...here you go...but please..don't let it get broken."

that heart...brings vulnerability

that heart...though the lost feeling, brings direction

that heart...finds peace

that heart...in the midst, finds such a DEEPER Trust..than one has ever know before.

That deeper trust makes me move forward, and find hope in life, in love, and in ministry.

may we press on. 

may we not take things for granted. 

may we take risks with our hearts...and trust that God has a bigger and better plan. 

Some days we get things the way we like it and others....we have to look elsewhere.

ps.

The storms are much worse than i thought. I realized this when my friend from NY city called and asked if I was ok. huh? I was fine and cozy and warm in my well lit house! 

And then I remembered: 

Mount Hermon conference center drive was still full of light...

Scott's Valley was also filled with lights...

the DMV & B of A in Capitola had lights...

But apparently nobody else did. Not even our friends atop of the hill had lights.

ok so maybe i noticed it when the signs all said severe flood area earier this afternoon...no worries I was on the safe parts!

I also found out when I was driving to my friends at night the stores where closed in Felton and the street lights out, and I'll be honest it felt a little strange. 

And maybe there was only one way into my house. Graham hill closed, hwy 9 closed both ways, which leaves only one way out. 

well there is no rain right now, and I hope it stays that way so some friends of ours can travel back on their planes safely and with no delays tomorrow. Goodnight!

yikes its almost midnight and this is the latest I have stayed up since the night before new years!! That's what my cold/fever/plague/the sickness does to you...(did i mention that I have been sick since the 1st? what a lousy way to finish my vacation...ehh at least I can say I was well rested on my vacate!) NyQuil is calling my name... before my cough takes over the words I type goodnight.

12 minutes at the DMV

Flash floods they say, millions out of power, freeways closed, and land slides. They warned on the radio to not go outside. 

so I went outside. 

You see I have been sick with a fever for two and a half days now, and I only have two days of vacation left. What do most youth workers that finally get some R&R tend to do with important stuff that needs to be finished by the end of their vacation? We wait till the end of our vacation of course. On the large list of things I had to get done, there was one things that was more painful than any of the others. RENEW LICENCE! That means I had to go into the DMV office, somehow this time I could not get away with mailing in a signed piece of paper...nope of course not. so here I am days before I would be driving illegally, hearing the reports of power out everywhere. I realize I have to go. I must.

So I put on my favorite rain boots : ), my favorite rain jacket, and off I go. There is a funny thing about people when tragedy or danger is near. They tend to follow the speed laws, and common courtesy laws on the road. Thus made my drive that much happier!  In fact this simple life pleasure of people driving nice, made my whole day better! If it had not been for all the people staying home out of the storm I am not sure I would have enjoyed the drive, because only the nice people who just needed to get out where on the road which made a nice even flow. LOVELY. And then I pulled into the DMV Parking lot. ehh.

The purpose of this blog: Everyone dreads going to the why because of the lines, the people, the lines, and the hours you wait for what seems like nothing!! Today I felt like the world Champion. I walked in wet, in my rain boots, sniffing (from my cold),  prepared with my ipod stashed in my purse and a good book I had planned on reading on vacation (I've only read the prelude). I was ready to face DMV!!! 

I looked at my clock 2:32 pm. 

Before I knew it I had no time to wipe the rain from my hair or jacket, or even think about my book. The Clerk was saying "Smile Please, and Thank you have a good day". I paused and said, "Really that's its??" Did I really just talk to 4 DMV people, and crack a few jokes with another, ha something about Government money at good use with three leaks in the roof. But everyone was still smiling, so I smiled back. Was this a dream??? 

I looked down at my phone to see the time 2:44 pm

it only took 12 MINUTES the the DMV!! GLORIOUS!

I was like a kid who always hated the dentist and now found out I didn't need a cavity treatment anymore...Yes this was now a new found love for the dmv. Wait. Only on days when  they suggest you should not be out and about. When there is nobody there and leaks in the ceiling. As for my picture I cannot be certain as to what it looks like. I hope ok because I will never have a day like today.  ha ha That's my story for the day!

Friends Missed

On Sunday Night a dear friend of mine took off for another Year Long Adventure to Egypt. He is doing wonderful things there, and always comes back with mountains of Stories. Alas we shall miss him. Lucky for us we have Skype. And that is lovely for chatting as if we where in the same room, for free! (Pictured: Me, Nessa, Barrett, and our lovely Chris in the Background!)

Not to mention that a few weeks ago, two other dear friends and there dog...moved to Indiana. Which, might as well be Egypt! ha ha! As I sat in there kitchen      and we wept, talking about life, and our hearts, I realised that I had not been the friend I wanted to be to them during there time in Cali. (Pictured: Trish, Nate & Lucy)

Not to mention the friends I have in different towns or that have already moved away. Its not easy ... ever.

My only regret is that we would have been able to hang out more while our friend was home! Funny how we miss friends so much when they are gone...but with life as "busy" as it is, we do not spend the time we need to spend with each other.

Which made me think. Sometimes I am indeed tired of fighting, some people you have to let go, others you must be satisfied that lives have changed, sometimes people move and you are closer when they are away because the times you get to talk with them there is depth, instantly because if you don't you will miss it. And so, we crave the deep, we crave the people that know us for who we are, and see what we are becoming. 

Do you dwell in ones lost or do we invest in those right in fount of us. We Speak our hearts, we are truthful, and we talk of the pain. Those friends stay...those friends fight for you. Those are the friends I crave. No matter if they live across the hall, or across the country.  

In the last 3 days I have heard this cry from many different people. It made my heart sad. It made me wonder am I adding to this problem. Are we all adding to this problem? Only time will tell. Only dropping ones pride can get you close. I'm talking to myself too.

We must hand out grace in our speech

We must be careful with the words we say to one another

We must hand out grace in the way we are treated.

We must lay down our pride and the sense of entitlement

We must cling to this love that only the Father can teach us.

We must Embrace the ways we where all created

We must love each other More.

What does LOVE look like?

It has the HANDS to HELP others.

It has the FEET to HASTEN

to the poor and needy.

It has EYES to SEE misery and want

It has the EARS to HEAR the

sighs and sorrows of men.

That is what LOVE looks like.

ST AUGUSTINE

A few weeks ago, My dear friends...made a choice to give up thier wedding gifts in lue of a Giving Fund. To start there marrage off by giving away. so Beautiful really. So amazed at thier hearts to give.

May we be moved to give and continue to give...because we have been blessed. myself included.

Pajamas on a Tuesday

Pajamas are a funny thing.
If you don’t have them you miss them.
If you don’t have money to buy them, you don’t have them.
Personally, I have many pajamas
Personally, Probably too many.

So my POINT:

Derek our College Pastor and the College group have been working with some families at the homeless shelter. Here is the deal there are families there that need baby clothes and other things.

SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

This Tuesday, Todd, Me, and You…
(Well at least I hope. )

If You are an: Edge Student, Oasis Student, or an jr high or sr High leader you are welcome. (shoot if your in the area…You could come too)

Are leaving the Church at 3 pm this TUESDAY.
Packing up the Burb the White Van, and Leaders cars if we need.
We are driving to Target, and BUYING BABY CLOTHES.

Bring $10 to add to the fund (or as much or as little as your heart desires)
These Babies need Pajamas.

********************************************

Personal note: I just think its not ok for people to go hungry or with out the basic needs like something as simple as Pajamas. Pajamas for Babies. My heart broke and is breaking just thinking about it.

10 days.

GOOD or BAD

its about outlook. Right now as its 2 am...
My Outlook: Bad, because I don't want to pack nor do I feel like being away for 10 days.

While on the plane:
My Outlook: Good, there is no turning back now. Sigh, I made it

Day three in Mexico
My Outlook: humph, i want to go home...but I appreciate what is happening.

Day Five in Mexico:
My Outlook: Wait we are leaving....NOooooo.

Day 7 back in San Diego:
My Outlook: Americans....we suck. Ooh cute Youth pastor, and no ring...
ha ha Just kidding.

Monday the 22nd!
My Outlook: Ahhh that was amazing! Sigh, praise Jesus I get to sleep in my own bed!
Sings song to herself,

"Thank you Lord

feels so gooood,

every single cell

in my body is well!"

**(Note: ways to procrastinate packing: mess with your blog)

Honestly I am looking forward to spending time with Azusa Pacific University Mexico Outreach, as they lead us (me and other youth pastors) in discussions about Mission. I am hopeful on what we will learn, what I can apply to our ministry in Santa Cruz. I am looking forward to meeting new people that we may network in the future. I am anticipating new views on missions.

I am excited about pausing and letting God speak into my life, while in Mexico and while in San Diego.

At the YS, Youth Workers Conference I'm longing to connect, be refreshed, and enjoy worship without having to feel like I am looking out for the needs of others.

I believe this time, is time I have needed for a while. So while I am apprehensive of what is to come, in the same breath I am excited to rest in Him. It truly seems that the last two months have been all too busy. True rest has not been in my vocabulary, even with being sick, having random back problems, and my boss being gone for two weeks. I feel like I need an oxygen tank to catch my breath.

Such is life. Praying for Renewal. Praying for Rest. Praying that I will enjoy my time.

I return on October 22nd, in the PM.